Where Was Sir Hillary? (The What Difference Does it Make Edition)

Why have to look for a bathroom when the moment is right?

Why have to look for a bathroom when the moment is right?

Viewers of Saturday night’s Democratic Presidential debate witnessed a startling event: Our 45th President Sir Hillary Clinton appeared semi-sober was missing from the stage when ABC came back from a commercial break.

Many pundits have speculated as to to the reason.  Was Hillary ill vomiting from too much vodka?  Perhaps as the former Secretary of State she was called backstage to confer with President Obama over the phone about a pressing issue overseas? Perhaps as a compassionate Democrat she heard a cry of help from an oppressed minority and went to help?

We at the World Wide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ believe we have the answer.

After much research and fact checking what do you mean you want 200 dollars for a blow job? we have discovered that Hillary, as an elderly man, has problems with his prostate and had to go backstage to answer the call of nature.

This is nothing to be ashamed of. Many elderly men of Hillary’s have problems such as this. When you factor in Clinton’s age, alcoholism, enlarged prostate, his use of Cialis as a sexual aid and the fact that he is taking nitrates for chest pain is it any wonder he had to leave the stage during the debate?

But, you may be asking, what difference does it make?

I humbly suggest that it makes plenty of difference.

When that phone rings at 3 am do we want a drunk president, barely conscious after hours of swilling vodka stumbling to the bathroom to take medication?  Do we want a man sitting on the toilet unable to move his bowels and with a weak urine stream?  Do we want a man screaming at his penis, “I took the Cialis, now work dammit!”

This is the President Sir Hillary Clinton will be.

This is not meant to denigrate Sir Hillary’s career.  Throughout his 40 plus years in the public eye he has served admirably, first as a crooked council to the Watergate hearings, then as a crooked real estate developer in Arkansas and finally as a crooked life partner to Governor and President Bill Clinton.

If perhaps Sir Hillary were younger, not in his late 70s and suffering from advanced dementia, alcoholism, erectile dysfunction and an enlarged prostate he might make an efficient president.

We here at the World Wide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ feel it is time for Sir Hillary to retire. We feel he would be better served as an elder statesman, throwing out ceremonial first pitches at baseball games or being wheeled out at Veteran’s Day parades to serve as an example of how the ’60s generation fought at the front lines of Woodstock.

Yes, let us by all means celebrate the sacrifice, the courage, the bell bottoms of the ’60s generation.

But it is time to cede the stage to a younger generation.  A generation not scarred by the ’60s symbol of sexiness, the emaciated and man-like Twiggy.

She's a man baby!  And eat something while you're at it!

She’s a man baby! And eat something while you’re at it!

After all, when the phone rings at 3 am and the moment is grave, why should our President stop to take a pill? And why take the time to look for a bathroom?



2 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    I want a woman Hillary POTUS so at the end of each month we will know why she is an intolerable bitch while Huma Weiner tries to out Valjar the former Valjar.

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