San Francisco Inspector Harry Callahan Suspended Over Racially Charged Incident!

This man fires from a position of white privilege

This man fires from a position of white privilege

Harry Callahan, an inspector with the San Francisco Police Department has been suspended pending the outcome of a Federal civil rights probe.

The trouble for Callahan began as he was sitting in a diner when he noticed a bank robbery in progress. Callahan, disregarding the safety of bystanders shot and killed two of the robbers before wounding and taunting the third.

According to eyewitnesses Callahan stood over the wounded suspect while saying, “I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?”

Callahan then pointed the gun at the suspects head and pulled the trigger, laughing as it was revealed to be empty.

Fortunately the entire incident was captured on a security camera that has been dubbed in Spanish for the benefit of investigators that do not speak English.

“This was outrageous.  Just outrageous” said the director of San Francisco’s NAACP.

The brother was on the ground.  Defenseless.  And Detective Callahan approaches him from a position of white privilege and taunts him.  I have viewed the security footage many times and I haven’t seen anything so outrageous since the time I went to see  Journey when they had that Filipino Steve Perry sound alike.  It was an outrage! An outage!  I demanded my money back. I came to see Journey with Steve Perry not some colored Filipino dude. Oh yeah, and Inspector Callahan should be arrested immediately and face Federal charges.

With calls for Callahan’s arrest mounting President Obama has weighed in on the controversy.

“Inspector Callahan acted stupidly” said the President.

Taunting a suspect is not what America is about. That person on the ground could be one of my sons. They could all be my sons. It is not enough to punish Callahan. His superiors who tolerated his behavior must be investigated as well.  They knew he was a loose cannon. They knew about the incident with Callahan in the Fillmore District the year before and chose to do nothing. Therefore I have ordered the Justice Department to investigate the San Francisco Police Department for possible civil rights violations. San Francisco is a sanctuary city and Mexicans who come to it must know the SPD will protect them. And we know how Callahan feels about Mexicans.

On social media the hashtag #Bankrobberslivesmatter has started trending with many Hollywood activists supporting the cause.

“Shooting bank robbers is wrong. And so is autism. And shooting bank robbers who may have autism is very very wrong” said Jenny McCarthy.

“Donald Trump was attacked by a bald eagle and Inspector Callahan is racist.  Republicans both of them” tweeted Whoopie Goldberg.

Meanwhile Inspector Callahan has reacted dismissively to his suspension.

“Well, I’m all broken up about that man’s rights.”

The Department of Justice expects to release its findings on the systemic racism in the San Francisco Police Department shortly before the Iowa caucus.


One Response

  1. petermc3 says:

    MI, ya be racist yo. Da NYC public schools be teachin’ in 128 languages but ya be writin’ in only dem whitey words. Wad up wit no ebonics yo? Harry Callahan gotstabe killing yo honky ass yo!
    Yours Truly,
    Tyrone Shoelaces

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