From the Manhattan Infidel Archives: Motives Remain a Mystery in Pearl Harbor Attack!

Who knows why they did this?  Perhaps it was lack of affordable health care

Who knows why they did this? Perhaps it was lack of affordable health care

Yesterday the U.S. Naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii was attacked today by the Empire of Japan.

As the news first broke many have tried to fathom the motives of the Japanese.  Why did they attack?  Was the United States at fault?  After all we are not at war with the Japanese, who it must be remembered have legitimate historical grievances against the white, western world.

While all the facts are not in, and cautioning against a rush to judgment, the following appear to be the most likely motives:

  • Right wing Japanese anger over their new health care system

The Japanese empire recently instituted the most progressive and compassionate health care system in the world. Under the terms of the Japanese Affordable Healthcare Act all Japanese subjects must now buy healthcare from healthcare exchanges that each province will set up. Despite Emperor Hirohito’s promise that “If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor” many right-wing Japanese view this as a federal takeover.  “The bill was over 1000 pages long and no one knows exactly what it says so many of the right wing were angry and it fed upon their paranoia and lack of trust in their government” said a progressive Japanese commentator.

  • Right wing Japanese anger over new gun control laws

Emperor Hirohito and his progressive allies had just passed the most humane gun confiscation laws,exceeding even Nazi Germany’s. Many Japanese are opposed to gun control. No one knows why. Perhaps the right just likes killing people. Is it really a stretch to suggest that anger over these laws led rogue elements of the Japanese Navy (who do not represent the majority of the Japanese Navy much less the Japanese people) to attack a country with a liberal, progressive President like Franklin Roosevelt? Indeed one could speculate that if a Republican were President these rogue elements would have not attacked, seeing as they are sympathetic to the intolerance and heated rhetoric of the right wing in America.

  • Postpartum depression 

While anti-science Republicans scoff at this notion, many of the fighter pilots who attacked Pearl Harbor have young wives of child-bearing age. Could it not be inferred that many of them have fallen into deep depressions after giving birth and that this depression manifested as rage in their husbands? Rage over their wives condition. Rage over a God who forces women to give birth. Rage over patriarchy and lack of available safe spaces for their wives?

  • Jews

With so many Jews now occupying Palestinian territory the world stands united against the Hebrew peoples. Everyone except the United States.  With so many Jews in positions of financial influence and authority in the U.S. a pro-Jewish foreign policy is being formulated in Washington. Could it not be argued that a wise and progressive Japanese peoples rose up and said: “Jews no more!”?

  • Segregation in professional baseball

The Japanese as befits a progressive, liberal and enlightened nation love baseball. Many of their baseball players have a desire to play in the United States but are currently unable to because of Major League Baseball’s “whites only” policy. Is it possible the attack on Pearl Harbor was a gentle way to bring the U.S. to rethink its racial policies?

But no matter what the possible motive is (and we may never know) we can all agree on what it isn’t:  An act of war. The Japanese are our friends.  Indeed it could be said that they are the Island of Peace in the Pacific. To even suggest that the attack on Pearl Harbor was an act of war is racist.

Such sentiments should not be tolerated in the United States!



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