Planned Parenthood Opens Restaurant

Our less crunchy entrees are gluten free!

Our less crunchy entrees are gluten free!

Planned Parenthood has opened up a flagship restaurant in New York City that it hopes will be the first of many for the organization.

“This is a great day for our organization.  This is a great day for women” declared the organization’s president, Cecile Richards.

Our organization has provided reproductive health services for women for over 80 years.  A large part of that is abortion.  Previously aborted fetuses were simply tossed in the trash.  This is a waste and it leads to global warming. So we began to think about what to do with our aborted fetuses and it occurred to us that many of these baby parts make for delicious eating. And so that brings us to this moment.

Richards then cut a ribbon officially opening the restaurant, called “Deep Fried Woman’s Choice.”

While we do cater to the fast food clientele with a selection of baby fingers, baby wings, baby sticks and baby burgers a lot of our menu is quite healthy.  For instance some of our less crunchy baby parts are gluten free. So a woman who suffers from allergies doesn’t have to worry about an allergic reaction.  She can eat here conscience free!

Deep Fried Woman’s Choice will also offer salads for those worried about their weight.

Many internal organs, if properly prepared with a selection of condiments and spices, make excellent salads.  The natural pulpy texture of these organs often mimic the feel of tomatoes. Other internal organs will be crushed to produce our own salad dressing which we hope to market online.  Thousand Island Baby Parts and Ranch Baby Parts will be an excellent addition to any modern, progressive woman’s kitchen. Just tell your maid to sprinkle the dressing liberally.

The dessert menu will feature brains.

Most of our fetuses have fully developed brains.  These can be cooked in any number of ways.  Steamed, fried, boiled.  No matter how you make it they are a delicious end to the meal.  We even serve the brains on their own skulls.  We simply invert the skull, and after cleaning off stray hair or neurons place the brains in the skull.  The skulls themselves can be eaten.  Admittedly the skulls are crunchy and not for everyone but for those brave enough to try them we feel it will become a lifetime habit.

After showcasing their menu Richards then introduced popular actress Lena Dunham from the hit TV show “Girls” who will star in a series of commercials for Deep Fried Woman’s Choice.

“It is important for this restaurant to succeed” said Dunham.

It is an important, progressive restaurant with important progressive food. People will want to eat here because it will make them feel like good people.  And I will personally blow any man who eats here! 

I will blow you!

I will blow you!

“You heard it here first” exclaimed Richards.  “Men, Lena will blow you.  And if that doesn’t make you want to eat here I don’t know what will!”

Sadly Deep Fried Woman’s Choice has no plans to deliver.

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One Response

  1. Petermc3 says:

    It is rumored his honor Big Bill has ordered street vendors to replace their Sabretts with fetal per pee’s. It is also rumored the Vienna Sausage lobby is prepared to challenge his edict.

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