Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Chattanooga Shooting Motives Template™

This obviously a white christian of northern European origin

This is obviously a white christian of northern European origin

Once again the scourge of gun violence has stricken America. The nation reeled after an attack at a military recruiting station in Chattanooga, Tennessee left five dead. Having had a couple days to reflect upon the events and not wishing to engage in a rush to judgment I now present the Chattanooga Shooting Motives Template.™

There has been a mass shooting that left five dead.  How should I react?

  • With sadness. This is a horrible, horrible tragedy
  • Anger.  Why does this always happen in America?
  • Remain calm and try to get all the facts
  • Blame Republicans

The shooter was Muhammed Youssef Abdulazeez.  This tells us

  • He was probably Muslim
  • That’s racist!
  • We can infer nothing from this shooter’s name
  • I bet he had Confederate flags at his house

You’re probably right about the Confederate flags

  • I know!  Why are white people such violent racists?
  • I hate right wing Republicans like Muhammed Youssef Abdulazeez!
  • I bet he was probably a Christian fanatic!
  • He probably wanted to reinstate slavery.  White people all want to

What can we do to ensure that this never happens again?

  • Ban guns
  • Ban all images of the Confederate flag
  • Ban the words “confederate” and “gun.”
  • Ban Christianity (the religion of war!)

Fox News is reporting that the gunman is Muslim

  • Consider the source.  Fox News is racist!
  • This is so patently false.  The shooter obviously was a Christian who loved the Confederate flag
  • Even if he turns out to be Muslim let’s consider the legitimate historical grievances Muslims have against the west.
  • Ban Fox news!

I don’t want to rush to judgment but we know he’s a tea partier!

  • That makes sense. After all, the tea party is racist and hates black people.
  • The tea party disgusts me. They should be rounded up!
  • We need concentration camps to put the tea party in!
  • Ban the tea party!

All this violence makes me want to convert to Islam

  • That’s logical.  It is the religion of peace after all
  • 9/11 was an inside job.  Fire does not melt steel!
  • We need to genitally mutilate our women so they don’t grow up to be wild American women
  • I like goats


May this handy template help my readers make sense of this tragedy.


One Response

  1. Petermc3 says:

    A message to all white catholic gun toting confederate flag waving tea baggers posing as Muslim/Islamic terrorists: Don’t mess with the Zohan!
    PS Fox News has descended into the media cesspool now referring to this creep as the Chatanooga shooter. So surely He must be a redneck!

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