My Exclusive Interview with Jared Padelecki

I am depressed!

I am depressed!

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing actor Jared Padalecki, best known as Sam Winchester on the long-running TV series “Supernatural.”

MI: Good afternoon Jared

JP: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.

MI: You’ve spent the past ten years starring on one of the biggest hits on television. This has brought you fame, money and a beautiful wife whom you met on the set of your TV show.

JP: Yes, Genevieve.  My rock.  My anchor.  I am very, very lucky to have her. 

My husband is depressed!

My husband is depressed!

MI: Lately you have been in the news for something entirely different.  I am talking about your struggle with depression.  What made you go public with it?

JP: Well as you know depression is a very serious disease.  I was sitting in my bedroom in my mansion, well, one of my mansions, I forget how many I have when my French maid

French maids make Jared Padalecki depressed

French maids make Jared Padalecki depressed

knocked on the door and told me that it was time to get dressed and that I had to get in my private plane and fly to San Diego for the Comic Con where fans would worship me.  And this depressed me.  I was suddenly filled with depression.  The sight of my French maid, dressed in a sexy French maid outfit filled me with despair. I mean, the money, the women, the fame and adulation, the mansions, the private jets.  Is this all there is?

MI: Um, this depressed you?

JP: Yes, as I’ve said I have more money than I know what to do with.  I have a beautiful young wife and a beautiful young French maid.  I have private jets and mansions.  People do my bidding.  Everyone is nice to me. But for what? Sometimes I yearn for a simpler existence.

MI: I see.  I hadn’t thought of that.  Could you do me a favor?  I need you to move a little closer.

JP: Sure. Why do you – 

[Manhattan Infidel slaps Jared Padalecki]

MI: So I can slap you asshole!

JP: Ow!  Why did you do that?  I’m depressed.  Have pity on me.

[Manhattan Infidel slaps Padalecki a second time]

JP: Ow!  Please stop!  This isn’t helping me with my battle with clinical depression.

MI:  You’re depressed?  Try living my life.  I’m middle aged, live in a Dominican neighborhood in upper Manhattan.  My companions are loud music and gunfire every night.  I’m stuck in a horrible job and I can barely pay my rent. You want to be depressed? Try my f*cking life!  

JP: Wow.  That sounds horrible.  Perhaps your French maid can service you and relieve your depression?

MI: I don’t have a f*cking French maid you rich, depressed asshole!

[Manhattan Infidel punches Padalecki]

JP: Ow!  Stop it!  The people at the Comic Con shall hear about this!

MI: One more thing before I go asshole.  Are you related to Jared from Subway? You know the pedophile?

JP:What? There’s a pedophile who shares my name?  That just makes me even more depressed.

MI: F*ck off!

[Manhattan Infidel kicks Padalecki in the groin]

JP: Help!  Police!  Help!

[A policeman enters]

Policeman: What seems to be the problem?

JP: Officer I’m Jared Padalecki. I have money, mansions and a French maid and I’m depressed.

Policeman: Depressed are you?  Maybe this will help!

[The policeman hits Padalecki with his night stick]

Policeman: Take that you rich, depressed asshole!

MI: That was a good hit.

Policeman:  Thanks.  Do you want to get a beer while we talk about how much we hate rich, depressed assholes?

MI: Sure why not.  Oh, he’s still moving.

[The policeman hits Padalecki a second time, knocking him out]

MI: Should we leave him there?

Policeman: Yeah why not.  He’ll probably wake up before the rats start gnawing at his face.

And so ended my interview.


Breaking news Breaking news Breaking news Breaking news Breaking news 


Rich, depressed actor Jared Padalecki has not shown up at San Diego’s Comic Con and is presumed missing.

“I don’t understand” said his wife Genevieve.  “He was looking forward to it.  I know if he misses it he’ll get really depressed.”


2 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    All this time I thought it was only my asshole rich friends who were depressed; one of whom once told me it wasn’t easy having “all this money.”

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