Manhattan Infidel Presents: Your Race Riot Lexicon

Words mean things.

Words mean things.

With the new year upon us many readers, confused by the events of the past four months, have asked me to come up with a handy race riot lexicon so that they can better understand what the media is reporting.  And so now, presented for your approval, is the Official Manhattan Infidel Race Riot Lexicon.™

Gentle Giant = Court records sealed

White cop = Hispanic cop

Mostly peaceful protests = Destruction not seen since the siege of Stalingrad

Legitimate historical grievances = Give me my free shit

Looting = Unsubstantiated reports probably started by teabaggers who hate black people

Unsubstantiated reports of looting = Destruction not seen since the siege of Leningrad

Appeals for calm  = The MSM is bored and wants a race war desperately to help their ever falling ratings

National discussion on race relations = Lecturing 

Local police are ineffective  = Local police are all dead

Federal intervention = Giving money to local authorities to line their pockets

Don’t shoot = I’ll shoot you first 

Racially divided = More lecturing

Unsubstantiated reports of sporadic violence = Reporter gets hit in head with rock

The GOP war on woman = Reporter raped while interviewing rioters

Unsubstantiated reports = Pretty much anything reported by cable news

Waiting for a statement from Al Sharpton = He is working behind the scenes to extract money from local authorities

Al Sharpton is flying to the scene and is expected shortly = Bitch better have my money

Al Sharpton has met with local authorities and will issue a statement before flying home  = Bitch got his money

A return to the days of Bull Connor = Local youth hit by rock while looting

President Obama will issue statement = As soon as he plays his 18 holes

MSNBC will provide live coverage soon =  Our reporter was hit in the head with a rock

The leader of the black race in America, Al Sharpton, was greeted enthusiastically by crowds  = Someone threw a rock at his head

Let’s shine the spotlight on race inequality in America = As long as it hurts the GOP

It is time to stop the wall-to-wall coverage and let the healing begin = Our wall-to-wall coverage was hurting the Democrats

Rape culture on campus = Shit our coverage of the rioting was really hurting the Democrats

Putin! = Fuck! The Democrats are losing in a landslide.  

I’m moving to Canada = The Republicans won!


And so readers, armed with this handy lexicon may you better understand what our news media are reporting.



5 Responses

  1. Awsome, keep it coming you are eating ‘their’ lunch.

  2. Is President Obama a white black-man or a black white-man? Does he have internal race riots?

  3. LSP says:

    That’s a very helpful Lexicon.

    A phrasebook might be useful too, explaining popular expressions like: “Doing a full Sharpton,” “He’s gone Holder,” and “Rock it!”

    Just a thought.

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