Rioting and looting and burning and shooting these are few of my favorite things

On August 9th 2014, Michael Brown, the so-called “gentle giant” of Ferguson, Missouri was shot dead by infamous white cop Darren Wilson.  The ensuing rioting both after the initial incident and after the grand jury report changed America forever.  Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we will use today’s post to examine the timeline of these momentous events.

• August 10th, 2015 – December 25th 2014

Initial rioting in and around Ferguson leads to millions in property damage and the arrest of hundreds.

• December 25th, 2014, the “Christmas Proclamation”

President Obama, using the powers not delegated to him by the Constitution, invites U.N. peacekeepers to Ferguson.  “The world is watching.  We need the moral authority of the United Nations to stop the bleeding.”

• December 31, 2014

The first U.N. peacekeepers arrive in Ferguson.

• January 1, 2015

The first Ferguson resident is raped by a U.N. peacekeeper.

• January – March 2015

Thirty seven additional Ferguson residents are raped by U.N. peacekeepers.  Note: These numbers are guesses as there is no reporting of the events by the major news networks.

• April 2, 2015

A reporter is raped by a U.N. peacekeeper. Riots ensue in the offices of Fox, MSNBC and CNN as outraged reporters demand action.

• April 13, 2015

Under pressure from his base at MSNBC, President Obama orders the peacekeepers out of Ferguson.

• May 2015 – January 20, 2017

With President Obama’s poll numbers slipping and not wanting to further embarrass him, the 24-hour news networks decide to concentrate on serial raper Bill Cosby and not the rioting in Ferguson. Despite no 24-hour coverage the riots continue on and off until Ferguson becomes nothing but abandoned buildings, roving gangs of wild dogs and street crime.  Archbishop Desmond Tuto, visiting the town likens it to “Detroit without glamour.”

• February 2017

Newly-elected President Elizabeth Warren, vowing to make ending “The Troubles” in Ferguson her top priority invites Al Sharpton, the leader of the black race in America, to the White House for wide-ranging discussions.

• February – June 2017

Talks continue between President Warren and Al Sharpton.  As these talks continue many in the press as well as regular civilians begin to speculate as to the final deal. Will it bring peace to America?

• July 4th, 2017: Announcement of the “July 4th Agreement”

Standing in the Rose Garden, President Warren announces an agreement with Al Sharpton.  Under the July 4th agreement all blacks in the United States will be moved to a new state called “The African Free State” comprising northern Wyoming, southern Montana and eastern Idaho.  Modeled after the reservation system of native Americans, President Warren describes the nascent Free State as “A place where Africans can finally live out their destiny in freedom, unencumbered by Europeans. They shall once and for all achieve full blackness by following their ancient tribal customs.  I, as a native American, know that the reservation example has been successful. It worked for native Americans and it can work for Africans.”

• July 6th, 2017

President Warren names Al Sharpton as “Chief for Life” of the new African Free State.

• August – September 2017

Opposition to the treaty rises among Democrats as they worry that with all Africans moved to the new Free State no one will be left in America to vote for them. The impasse is broken when Charles Schumer (D-NY) articulates the Schumer Principle.  “We have the Hispanic vote now so we really don’t need blacks anymore.”  But to ensure a Democratic majority, residents of the African Free State will be allowed to vote in national elections.

• October 2017 – September 2018:  The Trail of Michael Jordan Sneakers

The forced relocation of Africans to their new Free State home begins. Known as the “Trail of Michael Jordan Sneakers” because of the brand of footwear found along the route’s movement the relocation is peaceful for the most part, except for a contingent of Africans who wish to remain in America Proper.  These Africans, deemed “Inauthentic Africans” because of their attachment to the ways of the European, are relocated to Canada as a compromise.

• October 2018

With no Africans remaining in America Proper President Warren addressed a joint session of Congress and declares “Peace in our time.”

• October 2019

After a year without race riots it is found that suicide rates among white liberals has drastically increased.  Also, the ratings for 24-hour cable networks decline. President Warren convenes a commission to study this.

• April 2020

The commission releases its report.  Among the findings:  without race riots to justify their moral superiority and self-loathing, white liberals have plunged into a deep depression, with many refusing to work in Hollywood anymore and without race riots the major cable networks are at a loss as to what to cover.

• May 2020

Suffering from deep depression, President Warren formally invites all Africans from the African Free State back into America Proper. She also appoints Al Sharpton as her Assistant President and eventual successor.

• June 2020

With authentic Africans moving back to America Proper, race riots begin anew. Liberal’s feelings of self-worth rise as does cable news ratings. President Warren calls this her “signature accomplishment” and announces that she will run for another term.

Don’t say I didn’t predict it.

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