John Kerry Calls for Two State Solution to Dakota Conflict

Each Dakota must recognize the right of the other to exist

Each Dakota must recognize the right of the other to exist

Secretary of State John Kerry called today for a “peaceful two-state” solution to the simmering conflict between North Dakota and South Dakota.

“For years the world has looked on with horror as North Dakota and South Dakota have fought each other” declared Kerry.

This must stop.  There must be peace between the two nations.  North Dakota must recognize the right of South Dakota to exist.  South Dakota in turn must let North Dakotans who wish to relocate in South Dakota.  If South Dakota does not do this it will be in danger of being an apartheid state.

Kerry made his controversial remarks at a closed-door meeting of world leaders including Angela Merkel, David Cameron, Francois Hollande and Jay-Z.

Traditionally the United States has been a firm ally of South Dakota.  We have stood by it shoulder to shoulder as it struggled to survive against its many enemies.  Yet our friendship is not without conditions. America has always prided itself on its diversity and openness.  If South Dakota continues to deny North Dakotans access to their country we in the administration would look askance at that.

Kerry’s comments drew fire from many, including the governor of South Dakota, Dennis Daugaard.

I must take exception to Secretary Kerry’s comments.  South Dakota has always been a vibrant democracy with equal rights for all its citizens.  Well except for the Irish of course.

Because of the controversy surrounding his comments, Secretary Kerry has walked back his comments regarding South Dakota.

If I could rewind the tape I would have chosen a different word to describe my firm belief that the only way in the long term to have  two nations and two peoples living side by side in peace and security is through a two state solution.  I do not consider South Dakota an apartheid state.  Anyone who knows me, like Grandpa, my wife Lilly and my son Eddie know this.

Governor Daugaard has also said that he personally has no problem with North Dakotans.

It’s not like they are from Nebraska.  Now Nebraskans are bastards.  I hate them and want them all dead.   They are always coming over the border.  If I could drop a nuke on Nebraska I would.


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Troops from South Dakota have crossed the border into Nebraska.

“Nebraska is ours” said governor Dauggard.  “We are doing this for our safety and security.”



4 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    The thousands of North Dakotan illegal alien children can be housed at Ellsworth AFB in SD along with the GITMO Taliban. South Dakota can then exchange these chillins with the Afghanis for more Taliban freedom fighters in order to launch an attack on any building in North Dakota soaring more than two stories high. Allah Akbar!

  2. Petermc3 says:

    Infidel, FYI-more than once as earlier today I have left comments that don’t show up here.
    Your ever humble reader,

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      Hmm. I just checked the spam folder. I found the one from 9:22 this morning. Any others?

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      My spam catcher is pretty good but occasionally it flags comments that aren’t spam. Thanks for letting me know I’ll check the queue periodically.

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