Fight Night! Obama Battles Economy in Steel Cage Death Match!

It's President Obama against the U.S. economy.  Who will win?

It’s President Obama against the U.S. economy. Who will win?

The Scene:  Friday night, somewhere in America.

First Announcer:  Welcome to fight night. We have an exciting match for you.  Tonight President Obama will be fighting the United States Economy in a steel cage death match.

Second Announcer:Yes and as you know there has been a history of bad blood between these opponents.

First Announcer:This all started when Obama called the U.S. economy “vulgar and capitalist” and vowed to replace it with a socialist worker’s paradise.

Second Announcer:  That didn’t sit well with the economy who pointed out his long history of providing the best standard of living on the planet.

First Announcer:  And here come the combatants now.  The crowd is cheering as the two enter the cage and shake hands.

Second Announcer: It’s a welcome display of sportsmanship though as we know the two hate each other.

First Announcer:  Yes they do.  I must say that the economy is looking a little banged up and worse for the wear.

Second Announcer:  He’s never really recovered from the two stimulus packages of Bush and Obama.

First Announcer:  That and continued government regulation have tied his hands.

Second Announcer:  Literally.  The economy is having his hands tied behind his back by Senate Majority leader Harry Reid.

First Announcer:  Normally even with his hands tied behind his back I’d say the economy was an overwhelming favorite, especially since Obama is looking kind of scrawny.

Second Announcer:  Yes but don’t underestimate his ability to duck and weave. That and the interference the press runs for him might leave him unscathed and victorious.

First Announcer:  And the fight begins.  The economy and Obama are circling one another, sizing each other up.

Second Announcer:  And here comes the press.  They are forming a protective line around the President.

First Announcer:  The economy is clearly frustrated. He can’t get near Obama to land a blow.  Obama might emerge unscathed.

Second Announcer:  Obama has just announced his intention to fund a third stimulus.

First Announcer:  The economy is getting a little wobbly.  Clearly he never saw that blow coming.  I have to hand it to Obama.  He’s a clever, ruthless opponent who will stop at nothing to kill the economy.

First Announcer:  Now Obama is announcing an executive order raising the minimum wage to $20 an hour.

Second Announcer:  Look at the economy. He looks ready to throw in the towel.

Second Announcer:  And it looks like Obama is going for the jugular.  He’s gone to a podium in the corner and is announcing new EPA clean air regulations.

First Announcer:  This might be the death blow we were looking for. Under these new regulations all coal plants in the United States will be forced out of business.  

Second Announcer:  A very good move by Obama.  By cloaking destroying the economy under the moral cause of combating climate change he has made it virtually impossible to fight the new regulations.

First Announcer:  And the economy is down!  The economy goes down!

Second Announcer:  The referee is counting to ten.  It doesn’t look like the economy will be able to get back up.

First Announcer;  And that’s it. The fight is over!  The ref has declared Obama the winner.

Second Announcer:  Trainers are attending to the economy.  He might be more seriously injured than we thought.

First Announcer:  I think he’s dead.

Second Announcer:  Yes, they are putting a sheet over the economy.  The economy is dead.

First Announcer:  He was a proud warrior but his time had come.  There was no room for him in the socialist worker’s paradise.

Second Announcer:  The press have Obama on their shoulders and are carrying him around the cage for a victory lap.

First Announcer:  A well deserved one at that.

Second Announcer:  That about wraps it up here.  Join us next week when Donald Sterling will battle the NBA in the steel cage.

First Announcer:  That should be a great fight.



2 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    Encouraged by Zero’s drubbing of the economy Seattle has raised it’s minimum wage to $15.00 per hour.

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