“There’s no crying in baseball.  But there should be.” ~ Yankee executive that signed AROD to a ten-year contract.

Humid as humid does

Fresh off yesterday’s tough loss the Yankees hoped to rebound, starting Ivan Nova (4-2 3.63).  The Royals’ starter was Wade Davis (4-8 5.89).

As they did last night the Yankees scored a run in the bottom of the first.  Brett Gardner led off with a walk and reached second on an Ichiro single.  After Cano grounded out advancing Gardner and Ichiro, Gardner scored on a passed ball.  Ichiro tried to score from second on the same passed ball but was called out.  Why did he try to score?  Perhaps he was trying to gain Innominatus’ respect. 1-0 Yankees after one.

In the bottom of the third Cashman’s latest garbage aquisition Luis Cruz led of with a single and went to second when Brett Gardner was hit by a pitch. After Ichiro Suzuki flied out to center Robinson Cano hit a 1-1 pitch for a three-run blast into monument park in deep center.   4-0 Yankees after three.

In the bottom of the sixth the Yankees batted round.  Cano led off with a single.  Vernon Wells, pitch hitting for Travis Hafner singled and Zoilo “Gehrig” Almonte walked. On a full count Lyle Overbay then hit a grand slam into left field.  8-0 Yankees after six.

Kansas City ruined Nova’s shutout when in the top of the 8th Alcides “You are mistaken white man.  I am not the drug lord” Escobar singled and then stole second on defensive indifference. He then scored on an Eric Hosmer double.  8-1 Yankees after 8.  Joba “Soon to be an ex-Yankee” Chamberlain pitched the ninth.

Final score: Yankees 8 Kansas City 1.

Ivan Nova pitched another great game, going eight innings while allowing only five hits and striking out six.  Hopefully the Nova that we thought would be a mainstay in the rotation is back.

Notes on the game:

Brett Gardner did not have an official at bat in the game, walking twice and being hit by the pitch twice.

Joba Chamberlain is a sad example of what the Yankees do to young talent.  He was lightning in a bottle when he came up in 2007.  The Yankees should have left him alone in the bullpen.  Instead they tried to make him a starter and destroyed him.

As the Yankee do every game, between innings they have the “subway race” where the D, C, and 4 trains (the subway lines that go to Yankee Stadium) race on the scoreboard.  The 4 train won.  He was immediately disqualified because of his connections to the Biogenesis scandal.

Best heckle of the game:

I tried but my heckle of  “a special impediment exists in man from the humidity of the brain”  left the crowd unmoved.  See AROD’s contract.

After the game Ichiro was asked what he thought of Innominatus.  He replied that “Innominatus is a bad man. A bad, bad man.  Very bad.  Very, very, very bad.  Very bad. I spit on him.  I spit on his dog.”

Jeesh, we get the point Ichiro.  You don’t have to be so anal.  It’s like he’s Japanese or something.

Reader mail:

D.B. of Philadelphia writes, “Next time I come to New York I’m kicking your ass on behalf of all Philadelphians.”

I apologize for D.B. readers.  I think he’s been bit.  You know. He’s a ‘walker” now.

D.B. of Philadelphia also writes, “That’s not true!”

I have a crossbow and i will shoot you in the head.

S.J. of Harlem writes, “Soon me and my 39 cats will rule the world.  I used to have 40 but she was eaten by one of the other cats.”

It rubs the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again.

L.K. of New Jersey writes, “I found my house-burning dog in Philadelphia. He’s mayor now.”

Flush him out.  Catch him as he runs towards Camden.

A.P. of Poughkeepsie, New York writes, “I destroyed my credit cards, had plastic surgery and  I’m on the run.  But they still found me!  It’s like they have spies everywhere.”

Yeah, sorry about ratting you out.  But they offered me a lot of money.

Recommended reading material:

The Limits of Dissent: Clement L. Vallandigham and the Civil War by Frank L. Klement

And so my record stands at 5-3 this year.  My next game is Sunday July 14th against the Minnesota Twins.

Go Yankees!

(573)