Wimp Romney Bullies Victims with Bullwimpness

 This notorious wimp bullies people with wimpiness

With the Presidential campaign in full swing, indeed with the conventions upon us, it is time to take a closer look at the character of Mitt Romney.  After extensive talks with people who have known and worked with Romney in the past a clear picture of his character emerges.  He is a bully.  But his is also a wimp.

The bullying, combined with the wimpiness creates a “bullwimp” factor that should have all Americans asking these questions: Do I dare vote for a bullwimp?  What are the consequences of voting for a bullwimp?  Can a bullwimp protect America from her many enemies? Can a bullwimp inspire confidence? Do you come here often? I’ll try anything once.  Autoerotic asphyxiation? Hell yes let’s get the party started. You want to shave my what?  Jiggers it’s the cops. I’m too pretty to go to jail.  I’ll be a bottom if it gets me a pack of cigarettes. Jailbreak tonight at lights out.  And of course the ultimate question we should all be asking ourselves as the election approaches: Can I make the bloodhounds lose my scent by pouring curry powder on the ground?

I spoke to a member of Romney’s staff when he was Governor of Massachusetts and he had this to say:

What a bullwimp!  He was always bullying people.  He enjoyed it.  But it was how he bullied me that grates so much.  Every morning he’d call me into his office and put on a cardigan sweater.  Then he’d force me to watch “Anne of Green Gables” – the 1934 version with Tom Brown and Anne Shirley. I felt terrorized in a wimp-like fashion.  To this day whenever anyone mentions Anne of Green Gables I cry.  I cry because of the memory of how Governor Romney bullwimped me, not because I found the movie moving, even though when Matthew dies of a heart attack and Anne gives up her scholarship to help Marilla whose eyesight is diminishing always chokes me up.

I next spoke to a man who worked closely with Romney during the 2002 Winter Olympics and he provided a blood-curdling example of his bullwimpness.

He used to tell me how much he enjoyed darning is own socks.  I thought he was talking about autoerotic asphyxiation, which I’m into.  Hell, who isn’t?  Then one day I walked into his office and he was sitting there in a cardigan sweater, smoking a pipe and darning his socks.  I mean, actually darning his socks. It changed my sexuality forever.  I used to wild.  A different woman every night. Now I’m married.  The same woman.  Every night.  Always the same woman.  Every night.  F**#ing Romney ruined my life.

These two examples alone prove that Romney is a dangerous bullwimp.  A bullwimp who is unfit for the Presidency.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to darn my socks.  What?  I always take my pants off when I darn my socks.



2 Responses

  1. You wanna know how hardcore bullwimpish I am?

    I don’t darn my own socks.

    I DAMN them.


  2. I’d vote for BullWinkle over Obummer!

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