Buoyed by the success of her first commercial for the ASPCA, Canadian singer Sarah McLachlan has filmed a second commercial which will begin airing soon.

“This commercial will be wider in scope” she announced at the press conference introducing the commercial.  “While it’ll still be about saving abused cats and dogs, there will be other animals, including the two-legged variety.”

And so as a service to my readers I now present her new commercial.  Be forewarned.  Some of the images may be unsettling.

Hi.  I’m Sarah McLachlan.  Every 30 seconds in America an animal is abused.  Please. Please.  Please contribute.  Any contribution at all will help give an animal a home where they will be loved.  Thank you.

Why won’t anyone feed me?

Will I die today?

 Did I leave the oven on?

Where the hell are my balls?

Sorry about the fur ball in your shoes

Seriously dude.  Where the hell are my balls?

I said sorry about the fur ball in your shoes, already.  Can’t we talk about this?

What happened to my balls?

Sorry about ripping your leg off but at least you still have your balls

I’ll make a deal with ya.  You help me find my balls and I’ll stop chewing up the carpet

I mean I was all set to lick my balls and I look down and Jesus Christ they’re gone!

And there you have it readers.  It’s a strong and disturbing look at animal abuse.  Please contribute now before she makes a third commercial.

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