Lost in the controversy over “Slutgate” and Rush Limbaugh’s apology is the real issue at hand:  How has this affected the real sluts of America? (RSA).

Note:  the RSA is not affiliated with the United Federation of Teachers.

Apparently the RSA is not pleased with Ms. Fluke.  Said one prominent slut:

This woman (Fluke) is no slut.  Real sluts know that three years of birth control pills do not cost $3000.  Real sluts know that any woman can get generic versions at Walmart for about nine dollars a month.  That’s 108 dollars a year.   That’s 432 dollars for four years at college.  I paid for mine by working shifts at Burger King.

Another women opined:

Sandra Fluke? Don’t get me started.  Real sluts do not testify before congress.  Real sluts DO congress.  I remember one time I was having sex in a cloak room at a Georgetown restaurant with Ted Kennedy.  Technically it wasn’t consensual since I didn’t want to have sex with him.  But he was pro-female reproductive freedom so that made it okay.

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. So he had me bent over a table and we heard someone knocking on the door saying, “Teddy, are you in there?” It was his wife.  I don’t remember which one.  The sober one I think.  So Teddy starts to panic and says, “I can’t be caught.”  So he opens the window and pushes me out to safety.  He called it his “reverse Mary Jo Kopechne move.”  He was such a gentleman.

So anyway.  Real sluts do congress!

The backlash against Ms. Fluke has been swift.  Many of Fluke’s sexual partners have withdrawn their support.  Said one traumatized partner:

I thought I was having hot sex with a promiscuous college girl.  But you’re telling me she’s 30?  And has a job?  And she had birth control anyway?  I didn’t have to wear a condom?  Man I think I can hear my nut sack crying.

Many sluts are defending Rush Limbaugh.

Why should he apologize for calling someone a slut?  It’s a proud word.  Isn’t that what feminism is all about?  Promiscuity?

The RSA has demanded that Ms. Fluke offer a public statement acknowledging that she is not a real slut.

It’s important that our good names and reputations not be damaged by her (Fluke.)

In a related note Walmart has announced that next weekend they will be providing free condoms and birth control pills for customers that spend more than 75 dollars.

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