Afghan Security Forces Agree to Kill Only Four Americans a Month; Agreement Hailed as Breakthrough

We will only kill four American dogs a month!Afghan president Hamid Karzai and president Obama today announced a new far-reaching agreement between NATO and Afghan security forces.

“This agreement is a watershed in U.S.-Afghani relations” said Karzai.  “Instead of shooting our American partners in the back of the head whenever we want we will do this only four times a month.  In return U.S. President Obama has agreed to apologize for any past, present, or future actions of his government and their dog troops.”

The agreement is a compromise for both sides.  Many in the Afghan security forces feared that Obama would demand that they stop killing American troops.

“That would be a serious morale-breaker for our brave Afghan troops” said Karzai.  “It’s part of our rich cultural heritage to betray allies.”

The Americans for their part were worried that the Afghans would demand that President Obama deliver apologies on a regular basis.

“We were relieved when the Afghans said he (Obama) could apologize once, though that one apology was to be a whopper.”

President Obama for his part called the agreement “an example of smart diplomacy practiced by my administration.”  

He then apologized for the agreement.

He then apologized for apologizing for the agreement.

He then apologized for apologizing for apologizing for the agreement.

A second article of the agreement states that twice a year American troops would burn the Koran.

Said President Obama, “By burning the Koran we give Afghans a chance to riot and it gives Americans  the opportunity to reflect on the rich cultural heritage of Islam and the freedoms enjoyed under Sharia law.  I’m sorry.  So very very sorry.”

The U.S. troops to be killed every month will be chosen randomly though Jewish soldiers are thought to be the heavy favorites.



4 Responses

  1. Why don’t we just sell Afghanistan to Israel for one dollar. They need somewhere to test their nukes, don’t they?

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: An excellent suggestion.

  3. He could do us all a favor and apologize for being such a whiny dunce, and then resign.

  4. Matt says:

    Would he apologize for all the things that he should, like the debt, the economy, the gas prices, ObamaCare, lies, Fast and Furious, and all the rest.

    Oh, that’s right, he only apologizes to foreign governments!

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