The Gospel According to Barack Obama

The Kingdom of redistribution is at hand!

And in those days cometh John Kerry preaching in the desert of Massachusetts.  And saying:  Do taxes:  for the kingdom of Barack is at hand.  For this is he that was spoken of:  A voice of one crying in Massachusetts, Prepare ye the way of redistribution.  For now the axe is laid to the root of the capitalists.  Every Republican therefore that doth not yield redistribution and his fair share of taxes shall be cut down and cast into the fire.

Then Barack was lead by the spirit into Chicago, to be tempted by the nonredistributioners.    And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights he was appointed a constitutional scholar.

And the evil Republicans took him up into the Sears Tower and showed him all the glory of Chicago.  And said to him:  All this I give thee if falling down thou wilt interpret the Constitution as the fathers intended.  Then Barack saith to them:  Begone. For it is written, the Federal Government shalt thou adore and him only shalt thou serve and enlarge the powers thereof.

And seeing the multitudes he went up to the John Hancock building and when he was set down public sector union employees came unto him.

And opening his mouth he taught them saying:

Blessed are the poor:  For the Feds have the power to take away from others and give unto thee.

Blessed are the meek:  For they know America is an evil country and they have no reason to brag.

Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after social justice:  For the feds have the power to engineer equality of result.

Blessed are the merciful:  For they shall obtain redistribution of wealth.

Blessed are the peacemakers:  For Muslims shall like them and they shall be called children of the most High Prophet and enemies of the terrorist state of Israel.

Blessed are they when the revile you and persecute you, and speak all that is evil against you, untruly, for my sake.

Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is very great in Washington D.C.  For so they persecuted the populists and progressives before you.

Do not think that I am come to destroy the law or the Constitution.  I have not come to destroy, but to fulfill and interpret the Constitution as a living, breathing document with positive powers of government.

For amen I say unto you, till my healthcare reform law and all its 1000 plus pages come into effect, the old slave-holder’s Constitution shall still be in place until all be fulfilled.

He therefore that oppose my healthcare reform, and shall so teach men, shall be called the least in the kingdom of Washington D.C.  But he that shall do and teach, he shall be called great in the kingdom of D.C.

For I tell you, unless your social justice abound more than that of the scribes and Republicans, you shall not enter into my kingdom.

(To be continued.)

The Gospel According to Barack Obama is brought to you by PBS and is made possible through a generous grant from the Chubb Group of Insurance Companies.


5 Responses

  1. The congregation of the Kingdom of Barack is getting bigger by the day. The blessing of Barack are many.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: Hallelujah brother!

  3. Actually, if you look at polls, it’s not getting bigger.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    EOS: We can only hope.

  5. Wow! This could be one of the most useful blogs we’ve ever come across on the subject. Actually great nfo! I’m also an expert in this topic so I can understand your hard work.

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>