Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel we pride ourselves on our ability to attract prostitutes journalistic skills.  There are of course many possible choices for the biggest story of 2011:  The death of Bin Ladin, the continuing sluggish economy, AROD breaking up with Cameron Diaz.  But in my mind hello? It’s so dark and empty in here…. echo….echo…. the story of the year has to be the so-called Arab Spring.  How will the Arab Spring effect U.S. foreign policy?  What does this mean to Israel?  Is the Arab Spring similar to Irish Spring, which is the soap Manhattan Infidel uses when he showers every morning once a week per prison policy.

Sparing every no expense  I flew to the Middle East to report on the story and talk to the people on the ground I watched Bob the Builder in my apartment while drinking beer.  The results of my interviews will surprise many people.

Interview No. 1:

Manhattan Infidel:  I’m here on the street with a rioting Arab  man.  What does Arab Spring mean to you?

Arab on street:  Death to Israel.  Death to the Jews!

Manhattan Infidel:  I’m not familiar with those brands of soap.

Arab on street:  Soap?

Manhattan Infidel: I loved that TV show.  Remember when Burt thought he was invisible?

Having gotten no useful information I quickly moved onto my second interview.

Interview No. 2:

Manhattan Infidel:  Will the so-called Arab Spring change the dynamic of the Middle East?

Another Arab on street:   Definitely respected American journalist someone kill this infidel!

Manhattan Infidel:  Will the Arab Spring lead to freedom why are you pointing that sword at me?

Another Arab on street:  It will lead to freedom.  Freedom to worship Allah and kill infidels and Jews.  Will someone please kill this infidel!

Manhattan Infidel:  I thank you for your time.  Watch it.  That thing is sharp!

Having once again received no useful information escaped with my life I move onto my third and final interview.

Interview No. 3:

Manhattan Infidel:  So……how much?

Arab prostitute:  Twenty American dollars.  Fifty American dollars for full hour.

Manhattan Infidel:  That sounds reasonable.  Do you role play?  Do you have any outfits?  Can you dress as a nurse or a French maid?

Arab prostitute:  One hundred dollars for role play!  Cash only. 

Manhattan Infidel:  Okay.  [Unzips pants]

Arab prostitute:  Wow.  I thought everything was bigger in America?

And so safely back home I regret that I was not able to find out more on the so-called Arab Spring.  For my next journalistic endeavor I had planned on visiting Ireland and reporting on their so-called Irish Spring.  Unfortunately Ireland has gone out of business and is currently in foreclosure.

Until next time.

Manhattan Infidel

(408)