Inside Bin Laden's Porn Stash

Mommy!  The Americans are being mean to me!When the news broke that Osama Bin Laden had a sizable porn collection at his Pakistan hideaway many wondered exactly what was in his “modern, electronically made” collection?

Readers of Manhattan Infidel can rest assured with the knowledge that I, at great danger to myself, would leave no stone unturned in my pursuit of the facts.  Utilizing my contacts with the CIA and Peeporama on Times Square and weeding out the non-modern non-electronically made collection (which included a large number of Sears catalogs with the pages turned down at the lingerie section) I now present to my readers the full contents of Bin Laden’s “modern, electronically made” porn collection:

  • No Iman’s Land Jihadist Edition (Volumes 1-6) 

Bin Laden was apparently a big fan of sexy Muslim ladies getting it on together (hey, who wouldn’t be).  All videos ended with the ladies strapping explosives to their bodies and blowing up Jews and infidels.

  • Deep Goat 

This groundbreaking movie (and the template for all Muslim porn to follow) features a goat Deep Goat!  A film so shocking no one will be seated during the final ten minutes with, shall we say, admirable oral abilities.  That the film was controversial for its time is proven by its marketing slogan:  “A film so shocking no jihadist will be seated during the final ten minutes.  Allah Akbar?  Goat Akbar!” Tragically the goat later committed suicide, claiming that his porn experience was not a healthy one.  The goat was replaced by Ryan Seacrest.

  • Deep Ryan Seacrest 

What can I say readers.  Some images are so horrible they will be forever burned into my brain. I mean I just spent 20 hours in a shower trying to get rid of that dirty feeling.  It didn’t work.  Don’t look at me I’m hideous.

  • Jihadist Sex Academy (Volumes 1-9)

A very popular series though I found it personally repetitive and lacking in character development.  But fortunately Ryan Seacrest was nowhere to be seen.

  • Hovel Cam 

Uncensored videos of hot Muslim ladies in burkas doing unspeakably nasty things in dirty filthy hovels.  Allah Akbar?  Indoor plumbing Akbar I say!

And there you have it readers.  Bin Laden’s porn collection was too massive for me to view all the titles and still make the deadline for today’s post. But rest assured.  I will view all the titles and report on them to you.  I just hope Ryan Seacrest isn’t in any more videos.

(1099)

7 Responses

  1. MK says:

    The goat killed himself, so what, i’m surprised no other goats stepped up or were forced to step up by their jihadist masters. lol

  2. Greg says:

    Ryan Seacrest! Osama should have his 72 virgins taken from him. Perhaps one of his porn films was Osama does 72 virgins.

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    MK: Unfortunately they did. This explains why all the goats are emigrating.

    Greg: Ryan seacrest was one of the 72 virgins.

  4. Who the hell is Ryan Seacrest????
    I’ve been lost in Venezuela for a long time.

  5. Jim at Conservatives on Fire Says: “Who the hell is Ryan Seacrest????”

    Nobody who will be missed.

  6. Abba Mai Adda says:

    May God punish you extremely.

  7. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Love to help you Abba, but I’m too busy watching Bin Laden’s porn.

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