An Important Message from Ahmad Shuja Pasha, Director of Pakistani Inter-Service Intelligence

Hello American Alllies!In keeping with my practice of guest blogging, I have let Ahmad Shuja Pasha, Director-General of Pakistan’s Inter-Service Intelligence (ISI) say a few words.

ASP:  Thank you Manhattan Infidel for letting me speak to the American people.  Though I really shouldn’t talk to an infidel.  I joke.  I joke with you because the Americans must die in fire are our allies.

With the recent raid by American forces into Pakistan to kill Osama Bin Laden much attention has focused on the ISI.  Many in your DIE AMERICANS IN FIRE! brave and noble country doubt that the ISI had no knowledge of Bin Laden’s sanctuary hiding in our country.

Rest assured.  I was just as embarrassed surprised as you were.  This was a total shock to me and my officers in the ISI.  As I was saying to Ayman al-Zawahari my wife I haven’t been this surprised and shocked since the end of the Sixth Sense when I found out Bruce Willis was actually dead!  Who knew!!  By the way, Toni Collette you can be my wife no. 2 anytime!  Call me!

I unfortunately was taken totally off guard by the raid.  If the Americans had only let me know I could have informed Bin Laden helped you.

I don’t like being taken off guard.  Like that time I found out George Michael was gay.  I better get myself checked for STDs.  Who knew? Seriously.  Yes I know I have the complete Wham! collection but it’s for the ISI.

But now I must address the future of relations between our two countries.   DIE IN FIRE AMERICAN INFIDELS!

We in Pakistan have nuclear weapons value highly our relationship with the United States.  We are committed to the War on Terror.  (Mainly by funding the Taliban in Afghanistan.)

The ISI will continue to work closely with the Americans to saw their heads off.

So please American dogs allies please continue to send us billions of your worthless dollars invest in gold every year. The money will come in handy modernizing our infrastructure building more nuclear bombs to aim at India.

Thank you very much

Ahmad Shuja Pasha

There you have it.  As always an invaluable guest post.  And who says we have to worry about Pakistan?



10 Responses

  1. I know I feel a whole lot safer now.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: Pakistan are our allies after all.

  3. innominatus says:

    Bin Laden in Pakistan… Crazy! That news shocked me like that time Kevin Costner started speaking Russian at the end of No Way Out. The Pakis are our friends, (and they like American porn) so we must try to patch things up with them.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: Sean young. Ah yes, back when she was hot and bat shit insane. Now she is just bat shit insane.

  5. I say we give the Pakistanis a second chance. Let’s see who their next house guest is and maybe we can have some more fun.

  6. Karen Howes says:

    Thanks, Infidel, I sure feel better knowing that Pakistan is on our side!

  7. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: The Pakistanis are Muslims and they have nuclear weapons. What could possibly go wrong?

    KH: I live to serve.

    EOTS: Thank you sir.

  8. MK says:

    Arm the Indians and quietly encourage them to whip those paki-bitches into line.

  9. Manhattan Infidel says:

    I like how you think MK.

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