Gaddafi Overthrown; Replaced by Charlie Sheen

Our debt as explained by the hooker analogyMuammar Gaddafi, leader of the Socialist People’s Libyan Arab Republic has been overthrown sources report.    His successor as head of Libya is Hollywood bad boy and former star of Two and a half Men, Charlie Sheen.

A clearly emotional Gaddafi, in a farewell message to the Libyan people that he hasn’t shot, said “I leave now brave Libyans to avoid greater bloodshed.  Remember the prophet.  Always bathe.  Love your camel.”

As Gaddafi’s plane was taking off to a life of exile, the plane carrying new leader Charlie Sheen touched down in Tripoli.  Appearing buoyant, with a porn star on each arm, Sheen told the crowd:

Today marks a new day for Libya.  Today marks a new day for the Libyan people.  My evolved mind will benefit you.  Remember your camel.  Always bathe the prophet.  Stay the f#$* out of my octagon!

The Libyan people for the most part are pleased with the change.  Said one protester:

Gaddafi is gone!  Sheen is in!  Maybe he can introduce me to Lindsay Lohan?

The fact that most Libyans seem pleased to have Charlie Sheen as their ruler does not surprise one professor of Libyan studies:

Well, there’s a comfort level that the Libyan people have with Sheen.  After all, they’ve been ruled for 40 years by someone who is clearly bat shit insane.  Having Sheen rule them now, another person who is bat shit insane would not be much of a difference.

Sheen has taken to his new role with relish, partitioning Libya into administrative units known as “Octagons.”  Inside each Octagon is another Octagon that only Sheen, as supreme ruler, has access to.  Sheen released a statement saying that any “Common Libyan who is found trespassing within my Octagon without permission will have to deal with my fire-breathing fists!”

This has many Libyans worried.  Said one:

I just want access to clean water and modern medicine.  Now I have to worry about Octagons and the infidel’s fire-breathing fists? He better not touch my camel!

Meanwhile, Gaddafi, in a move that surprised even Hollywood insiders, has agreed to replace Sheen on Two and a half Men.  Gaddafi will play an Irish-American bar owner and widower named Seamus Finnegan who comes to live Alan Harper, played by Jon Cryer.  Said a CBS executive:

He’s a natural for television and our focus group said he reminds them of a cross between Joy Behar and Harvey Fierstein.  Plus he’s cheap.  He works for camels.  No, not the cigarettes.

Sheen’s official swearing in as the Supreme Ruler of Libya and all Octagonal Precincts will be covered live by MSNBC, CNN and the Disney Channel.


7 Responses

  1. The Jungers says:

    Finally a ruler in Libya that can get things going for there people.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    TJ: It’s what the Libyan’s deserve.

  3. innominatus says:

    Neither Libyan ruler is fond of Jews, either. Charlie should fit in nicely over in the middle east.

  4. Matt says:

    Well, at least Charlie is an upgrade???

  5. Karen Howes says:

    Long live Charlie Sheen, the new… eh.. whatever of Libya!

    So what if he’s so high he’s bumping his head on the moon?

  6. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: Antisemitism and porn stars. He’ll fit right in.

    Matt: Technically, Charlie is an upgrade. Granted that isn’t saying much.

    KH: Holy Bat shit insane, it’s our new ruler! Hey, Charlie is just high on life….and massive amounts of cocaine that have made him lose his teeth. The nose will fall off next. I have no sympathy for this second generation pampered Hollywood a–hole who’s never had to work an honest day in his life.

  7. MK says:

    Nice one Infidel, i needed a laugh.

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