Representative Christopher Lee Resigns; Latest Victim in Long List of Washington Toad Scandals

This is me.  This is my chest.  I am not a toad.Representative Christopher Lee of upstate New York abruptly resigned his seat in the House yesterday after shirtless pictures of him that he posted answering a Craigslist personal ad became available online.  Ironically, Lee’s district abuts the district of similarly disgraced representative Eric Massa.  Said a resident of upstate New York, “Well, it’s not like we have a lot to do up here.  It snows ten months a year.”

The trouble started when a woman placed a personal ad on Craigslist looking for a “man that does not look like a toad.”   Representative Lee, apparently to prove that he is not toadlike but fully human, sent a topless photo of himself to the woman, stating that he is a single, 39-year old lobbyist

Lee’s fall from grace is only the latest in a long line of scandals resulting from Washington’s long entrenched anti-toad culture.

Jimmy Carter’s presidency almost imploded after he sent a topless photo of himself to CBS sports reporter Phyllis George with a personal note attached that said, “President of southern comfort seeks sexy sports girl.  As you can see, I am not toadlike.”

William Howard Taft lost the 1912 election in large part to the scandal surrounding the full frontal nude painting of himself he sent to Teddy Roosevelt’s daughter.  The painting was accompanied by a telegraph that said:

As you can see I am 300 pounds of manhood in my prime.  Nothing even remotely toadlike about me.  Let’s hook up.  Teddy need not know.

Senator Joe McCarthy, best known as an anticommunist crusader also had his career derailed when animal rights activists complained after the Senator used a hammer to personally kill all the toads he found in his yard.

“I hate toads” said the Senator. “My wife thinks I look like one.  I am not a toad! I am a human being!”

Thomas Jefferson almost challenged Alexander Hamilton to a duel after Hamilton implied that their were irregularities in Jefferson’s private life:

Hamilton:  You can tell us.  Everyone knows you like to sleep with –

Jefferson I do not sleep with toads!

Hamilton:  I was going to say you sleep with your slaves.

Jefferson:  Oh.  Okay.  But I definitely DO NOT sleep with toads.  Seriously.  No toads.  Just ask my slaves.

Representative James Francis of Oregon (pictured here)What?  Yeah I know I look lilke a toad but some women like that who does resemble a toad angrily said that he didn’t see what the big deal was.

“Some women like toadlike men.  Once you’ve had toad you never go back.

As for former Representative Christopher Lee he plans to “get the crap beat out of me by my wife.  I mean, set things straight with my wife.”



7 Responses

  1. Quickest political sex scandal-EVAH!

  2. The Jungers says:

    God I hate toads, I on my porch and shoot them with a 12 gauge. LOVE IT!!!

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: I just kinda wish that if he had to resign he would have at least got some.

    TJ: Yout anti-toad extremist!

  4. innominatus says:

    This is why there weren’t any Teddy K sex scandals in his later years. Waaayyyy too toadlike.

  5. MK says:

    We have a cane toad problem in some parts of Australia, but apart from that we’re on amicable terms, i think. Perhaps that’s why we ended up with the cane toad problem. Bastard toads, they’re like leftists, give them an inch and they take a mile.

  6. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: You’re right. No Teddy K sex scandals….er what? My brain just froze.

    MK: It’s time for zero tolerance towards toads and leftists.

  7. I am new to your blog and love it. Thanks for including us in your adventures.

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