Today on the Yellow Brick Road an accident involving 20 cars killed two pedestrians, tentatively identified as “Tin Man” and “Scarecrow.”

Around 8:30 AM during the height of the morning rush hour four pedestrians were noticed holding hands and dancing along the side of the Yellow Brick Road, the only non-toll road leading to Emerald City.

According to police reports trouble started when Dorothy Gale, last known address rural Kansas,  tried to stop a car to ask “Where is the f#&^*#g Wizard?”

Not wanting to hit the pedestrians the car veered into the southbound lane, striking a limo filled with anchors from MSNBC.  The limo immediately burst into flames.  Other cars tried to avoid the flaming van of anchors and many ended up crashing into each other, causing more chaos. Soon 20 cars were piled up on the road, some on fire, others upside down or totaled.  Drivers involved the crash who did not immediately lose consciousness screamed for help, many of them trapped as flames and fuel covered the road.

Among the victims were two of the pedestrians.  As the Tin Man lay by the side of the road first responders stabilized him and attempted to give first aid but were stopped by said Tin Man who kept asking to “be oiled.”

“I was trying to intubate him but all he kept doing was saying ‘No no…..I want oil.  Someone oil me!’  I have no idea what he was talking about.  I think he was on drugs.  But whatever it was he died shortly after that” said a responder.

Also killed was the Scarecrow, who was literally cut in two.

“It was horrible.  His legs were on one side of the road and his torso was on the other.  There was straw all over the place.”

Surviving the accident were Dorothy and The Cowardly Lion.  The Lion survived by hiding by the side of the road.  When responders found him he was crying “I’m a coward.”  He had also soiled himself.   Mr. Lion and Dorothy were questioned by police and then arrested on suspicion of being under the influence of a controlled substance.

“Dorothy was glassy eyed and semi-incoherent. She kept giving us this cockamamie story about how her house fell on a wicked witch.  She also offered to service me if I would bring her to somebody she called the ‘F#$(*$g Wizard.’  Damn hippie freaks is what they are” said a policeman.

The Mayor of Emerald City has asked the city council to pass legislation outlawing pedestrians from walking along the side of the Yellow Brick Road.

“We’ve had problems for a while now with pedestrians. This isn’t the first accident they’ve caused but it is the deadliest.  Damn hippie freaks.”

The Mayor has also asked the State for capital improvements on the road that would widen it and put barriers in place to keep pedestrians from running into traffic.

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