Skipper Loses Charter License

The Skipper loses his license and may face further legal actionWhen seven castaways were rescued from a tropical island, the skipper of the charter boat might have thought his problems were over.  But they were just beginning.

The Skipper, founder of S.S. Minnow Island Charter, Inc., has denied all wrongdoing in the beaching of his boat and subsequent stranding of his passengers, including a multimillionaire industrialist, his wife, a movie star and two others.

However his license to run his charter has been suspended.  One of his passengers, noted multimillionaire industrialist Thurston Howell III has been deeply critical of the Skipper.

“He promised us free lunches.  It says so right on his brochure.  But when I got on board I found out I had to pay for my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

Mr. Howell continues:

“He knew I was a millionaire.  That’s why he crashed the boat. It was blackmail pure and simple.  He was after my money.”

Actress Ginger Grant seems to corroborate Mr. Howell’s story.

“I was  hired for one reason.  I was hired to distract Howell with my sexuality. Then the Skipper would take his money. Though why a multimillionaire industrialist would bring suitcases full of cash on board a charter boat is beyond me.”

Ms. Grant is suing the Skipper for loss of work and back wages.

“I was on that island for three years.  I lost out on so many good roles that went to other, less talented actresses whose  sex appeal obviously cannot match mine.”

The Skipper denies he had any plot to steal Howell’s money.  He also denies using Ms. Grant as bait.

“She (Grant) has a high opinion of herself.  I never found her that sexy.  Personally I liked the other girl.  I forget her name.  We had two other passengers but Gilligan and I just called them ‘the rest’ since they were quiet and kept to themselves.”

The Skipper also denies being the brains behind any so-called extortion plot.

“It wasn’t my island.  It was Gilligan’s Island” said the Skipper, referring to his first mate.   “It was his Island.  He was responsible for everything!”

First mate Gilligan has reportedly struck a deal with prosecutors to provide evidence against the Skipper in return for immunity.

Authorities have called this the most unusual extortion case they have ever seen.

“It was just a three hour tour!  A three hour tour.  That means they would go out for an hour and a half and come back.   So they  were no more than 12 nautical miles from port.  And the passengers couldn’t figure this out?  The millionaire, his wife, the movie star and the two others. I forget their names.  You know, the rest?  Are they morons?” said a detective with Honolulu’s police force.


4 Responses

  1. KingShamus says:

    All I know is that the Skipper often liked to play with his little buddy.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    I believe the S.S. Minnow has a strict “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

  3. Matt says:

    OK now. We are forgetting that the weather started getting rough. That was because of globull warming, and as we all know, that’s George Bush’s fault! I think that will be the Skipper’s defense.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    I blame Capitalism. The skipper had to know that bad weather was on the way but chose to go out anyway rather than refund his passengers.

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