Hello to America! Greetings from Somali Board of Tourism! Much Fun Awaits!

The tropical paradise of Somalia awaits for you American!Hello to citizens of the United States of America!  Much fun awaits you in the wonderful tropical paradise of Somalia.  Why waste your money going to Europe?  Somalia is cheap for the Americans.  And prices will not cost you arm and leg.  Maybe head.  But we joke with the Americans.   Fly to Somalia cheap.  We don’t have airline but we hijack one for you.  So come to our beautiful country now.  See what activities await for you:

Water Sports!

Somalia has fantastic water sports for infidel Americans

We have boats!  We put you on boat on sea.  Enjoy the open water as we chase down bigger boat on sea.  But please Americans, keep your head down!  Bigger boat sometime shoot at us.  Bigger boat sometimes take Somali prisoner.

High Fashion!

Charred underwear - very big in Somali fashion

American come to Somali fashion show!  No skinny European models at our shows.  We are on the cutting edge of fashion. See one of Somalia’s favorite sons parade on catwalk with plastic explosives in underwear.  Bring home to America bomb-filled underwear.  A Somali tradition!

Military Discipline!

Military discipline - come to Somalia and receive it

You Americans of course know of the French Foreign Legion.  We in Somalia have our own foreign legion.  Come join Al Qaeda in Somalia!  We give you gun.  You kill enemy of great Prophet.  Can you do that in your Las Vegas?  Can you do that in your Atlantic City?  Come to Somalia.  Gun training comes with food rations for those who swear allegiance to War Lord.  Al Qaeda in Somalia is equal opportunity employer.  We even welcome Hispanics.  From New Jersey no less!

All this and more awaits for you in Somalia.  We have plenty of beaches without oil spills.   See the hot women on the beach!  Whoooo……sexy burqa lady!

Note:  Al Qaeda in Somalia is not affiliated with Burlington Coat Factory.


9 Responses

  1. KingShamus says:

    I know the latest al-Shebab/al-Qaeda recruits came from the Garbage State, which is sorta depressing.

    Having said that, I wouldn’t mind seeing Snooki or J-Wowww from the Jersey Shore is a full length burka.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    A burqa on snooki or j-Wowww would hide their greatest assets!

  3. innominatus says:

    Racing around the coast in a speedboat, shooting things with a machine gun. That sounds quite appealing to a redneck like me.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    I guess it depends on who your shooting at and who you are shooting with. No wait, isn’t everything morally relative? I’m so confused.

  5. I love Somalis! They’re boats are so easy to coat with my slimeiness I feel like I’m reverse changing a baby’s diaper.

  6. Matt says:

    I’ve never trusted the Burlington Coat Factory. I think there’s a cover up going on here.

  7. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Matt: Burlington coat factory is a known Jihadist recruiting center.

    BO: I think we’ve just discovered a valid use for oil spills.

  8. NewStormComing says:

    The pirates of Somalia will soon be facing a new storm of gigantic proportion. I don’t think they will survive it. A shame.

  9. Kevin G. says:

    you are all fools! somalia is a place that is full of pirates and swindler. you suck, suck my egg.

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