Al and Tipper Gore to Separate; Global Warming Blamed

Al Gore will leave his wife to save the planetAl and Tipper Gore have announced that their 40-year marriage will be ending. “After a great deal of thought and discussion, we have decided to separate” they wrote in a statement released to the press.

Friends and relatives were shocked by the announcement as they saw no trouble in the relationship. However, Mr. Gore has reportedly told political allies that he had to leave his wife to “save the planet.”

“The heat generated from our super sexually charged relationship was causing climate change.  Sea levels were rising.  Ice caps were melting.  Polar bears were drowning.  I have dedicated my life to fighting climate change. I could not stand by and let another polar bear drown just so I could see Tipper in her french maid outfit one more time” said Mr. Gore.

Gore’s explanation for his separation from his wife brings to mind the famous “kiss” from the 2000 Democratic Convention.

“During that kiss I witnessed an untamed sexual passion that I haven’t seen since that video Mick Jagger and David Bowie did together for Dancing in the Street” said a Democratic Party representative who was present at the convention.

In a follow up statement Mr. Gore said “There were only two things I could do to save the planet.  Leave my wife or reduce energy consumption at my Tennessee estate.  What would you do?”

Throughout the United States men contemplating leaving their wives have been given hope by Gore’s announcement.  Divorce lawyers are reporting that “a desire to stop climate change and to save the planet” has replaced “a desire to shack up with my 25-year old secretary” as the number one reason men are now leaving their wives.

Following in Gore’s wake, several states have introduced bills in their legislatures adding “climate change” to their lists of valid reasons for a divorce.

Former President Bill Clinton when asked about the breakup said, “This is a man who is leaving his wife.  I love this man.”

From his home in North Carolina, disgraced former Presidential candidate John Edwards told reporters, “Damn, Gore’s good.  I wish I had thought of that.”

Polar bears could not be reached for comment though it is expected they will support Mr. Gore’s decision.


2 Responses

  1. KingShamus says:

    Your website hates me dude.

    I can’t load up the rest of your page.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    I spoke to MSNBC about this and they assure me your problem is caused by either Sarah Palin or Dick Cheney.

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