Obama Nominates Spock for Supreme Court

Spock - the first Vulcan nominee to the U.S. Supreme CourtWith the announcement that John Paul Stevens will be retiring from the Supreme Court, speculation was rife as to who President Obama would nominate as his successor.  The wait is over.  In a ceremony in the Rose Garden today President Obama introduced Spock as his choice to be the next justice on the Supreme Court.

“Spock has a distinguished career in the military, as a diplomat and as an intellect.  The Supreme Court would only be fitting as the next step for this brilliant mind” said Obama.

Despite these qualifications, the Republicans are expected to mount a serious effort to derail his nomination.  When asked about this, Spock replied that opposition to him would be “most illogical.”

Perhaps hoping to head off Republican opposition, President Obama touted Spock’s middle of the road judicial philosophy.

“I have not asked for Spock’s opinion on artificial birth control for Tribbles and I ask Congress not to use this as a so-called litmus test.”

Many observers of Washington feel that the nomination of Spock is a brilliant move on the part of the President.

“Given that he (Spock) has spent most of his career outside D.C., hell, outside Earth, he does not have much of a paper trail that can be used against him” said one commentator.

“I had dinner with him the other night and asked him his opinion on prayer in public schools.  All he said was ‘live long and prosper’ which you have to admit is pretty ambiguous.  It could mean he’s judicially conservative.  It could be interpreted as a liberal statement.  It could mean he had too much red wine.  It could have been the fact that Megan Fox was sitting in his lap” said another.

However Spock is not without baggage.  When asked if being a Vulcan will make him more “empathetic”  Spock replied that it would.

“I would hope that with the richness of my Vulcan experience I would come to a different conclusion than Earthers on certain subjects.”

Spock’s former colleagues are lining up in support of nomination.

James T. Kirk said “Of all the souls I have met his was the most human.  And he got almost as much I did.  That’s right. Suck it bitches.”

Leonard McCoy, former Chief Medical Officer on the Enterprise stated “I’m a doctor not a politician.  I think he’s out of his Vulcan mind but he should be a good judge.”

Even with his controversial “richness of Vulcan experience” quote Spock’s nomination is expected to pass in the Senate.

“I guess I’ll vote for him” said Mitch McConnell (R-Ky).  “I’ve only met the guy once.  He gave me some sort of neck pinch which knocked me out.  He said it was a Vulcan way of saying hello.”



3 Responses

  1. And when Zero singles him out during a STFU speech, you can bet Spock will be turning that neck pinch on Zero.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    That would be highly illogical for our Dear Leader to do that. He knows pain will ensue.

  3. KingShamus says:

    Hahaa, Kirk always reminded Spock who the alpha dog was.

    MisterSpock, I…SCORED SOME HOT ALIEN COOCH….onthatlastmission. HOT. ALIEN. COOCH. Didyouhappen…to…getlaidaswell? No? That seems…highly ILLOGICAL….Mister Spock.

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