It has been confirmed that popular mascot Toucan Sam has had reconstructive surgery to repair the nose that he lost after being diagnosed with Syphilis. Rumors first surfaced about Toucan’s medical condition months ago when the usually sociable Toucan disappeared behind the walls of his mansion. “Senor Toucan, his nose fall off” his maid Rosalita told […]

Newly arrived resident of Heaven, David Bowie has teamed up with Bing Crosby for a series of pranks and parties that have terrorized the other residents. “It’s been hell here since he (Bowie) showed up” said one. Well not literally hell. More like Washington Heights in Manhattan, what with the loud music and constant noise. […]

Tricks, the silly rabbit obsessed with Trix cereal has passed away, a victim of his lifelong addiction. “We knew this day was going to come” said a longtime friend. As much as we dreaded it, it’s a relief in many ways. At least he is free now. Free of his dreaded addiction to that damn cereal. […]

Failed man and professional dress wearer, Jaden Smith, so-called “son” of Will Smith, has been named the face of the new Louis Vuitton’s women’s clothes campaign. “It’s true” said Vuitton’s creative director. Jaden is the new face of our clothing line. I salute Jaden’s courage in dressing as a woman and I believe that his […]

Jar Jar Blinks, newly appointed Finance Minister for the Galactic Empire announced today that they will be moving off the gold standard and adopting a fiat currency. “This is the right thing to do” said Blinks. Emperor Palpatine concurs. For too long we have been on the gold standard, and frankly, with the wars we […]

The world suffered an unspeakable tragedy today as Santa Claus, his sleigh, and all reindeer were lost when they exploded over Sweden during their round-the-world Christmas Eve trek. “We lost all downlink with Santa when he was over Sweden” said an official with NORAD. At first we thought it was just an issue with the satellite […]

Controversial Rebel Alliance fighter and former moisture farmer from Tatooine, Luke Skywalker has renounced his true father, Darth Vader. “it’s a sore point with him” said good friend Hans Solo. He called me up one day all out of sorts. “Darth Vader told me I’m his son!” I told him to calm down and take a […]

Harry Callahan, an inspector with the San Francisco Police Department has been suspended pending the outcome of a Federal civil rights probe. The trouble for Callahan began as he was sitting in a diner when he noticed a bank robbery in progress. Callahan, disregarding the safety of bystanders shot and killed two of the robbers […]

Peter Pan, pre-pubescent resident of Neverland is reportedly disenchanted with eternal youth. “You think this is fun?” he told a visitor. All I do is have boyish adventures with my friends. Not a responsibility in the world. Oh sure it was fun at first. Kinda like always being at recess without having to play dodgeball. […]

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing a fellow journalist: Erin Burnett, formerly of CNBC and now with CNN. MI: Good afternoon Miss Burnett. EB: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.  You know it’s such a pleasure to be interviewed by a fellow journalist.  One journalist to another. Only we understand what’s really going on. MI: I’m […]