Kentucky legislators have announced that they will send to voters in November a provision on the ballot to end a frontier-era constitutional law that required anyone taking the oath of office to swear that they have not fought a duel. “This law should have come off the books years ago” said the head of the […]

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has extended the range of her talents by releasing a children’s book entitled “The Most Ethical Congress Ever.”  “Being Speaker of the House is an honor” announced Pelosi.  “But having successfully balanced the budget, paid off the debt, stopped global warming, ended the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, brought […]

As calls for his resignation grew louder, Governor Paterson sat in a dark room in the basement of the Executive Mansion, a letter of resignation and a gun at his side. “I’d turn the lights on, but I’m blind” said the Governor. Surrounded by a cadre of loyalists the Governor paced back and forth, occasionally […]

Representative Charlie Rangel (D-NY), Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee formally requested a leave of absence from his duties.  Sending a letter to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, Rangel asked that she grant a “leave of absence until such time as the ethics committee completes its work.” Pelosi responded by thanking Rangel […]

As part of my continuing series of informative interviews, I sat down today for an exclusive talk with the Presidential Teleprompter, otherwise known as “REX GLORIOUSA 9000.” MI:  Thanks for sitting down with me today.  I know you have a busy schedule.  What’s it like being the teleprompter for the President? RG 9000:  Well it’s […]

Representative Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) today ended weeks of speculation as to his exact reasons for giving up his seat in Congress and held a press conference on the steps of the Capitol Building. “My father instilled in me a deep respect for public service, waitresses from Hooters and airbags.  It’s pretty simple in this respect.  […]

As Night Train played in the background and scantily-clad women danced around a pole, New York Governor  David Paterson smoked a cigar and talked with the Manhattan Infidel. “All this talk of a sex scandal in my administration is wetting my appetite so to speak” he said as he shoved a sizable tip down a […]

As our nation celebrates President’s Day, the day we honor such greats as John Tyler, Franklin Pierce, James Garfield, William Howard Taft and Lyndon Johnson, perhaps no President is as neglected as William Henry Harrison. Harrison, our ninth President (March 4th, 1841-April 4th, 1841) and our first to die in office is our most neglected […]

The controversy that erupted over Sarah Palin writing notes on her hand while addressing a tea party convention obscures the fact that so-called “hand notes” have a long history in American politics. While today the smart, professorial politician prefers to use teleprompters, “in itself a sign of vastly superior intelligence”, according to Politico.com reporter Mike […]

Congressman John Murtha (D-PA) has accepted a bribe from Satan and agreed to die. The congressman had been under investigation for ethical lapses and channeling millions of taxpayer money to the John Murtha Airport, among others.  The FBI, in collaboration with Satan (“Deliciously ironic, don’t you think” said Satan), had been conducting an undercover investigation […]