The future president of the United Socialist States of America

So the midterms (aka “The most IMPORTANT event in the history of the world and we are the MSM and you can trust us because what we say is true”) has come and gone.

This will be a short post as I worked from 6 am to midnight on Tuesday at CBS News Headquarters in New York and then was back at work at 6 am on Wednesday and frankly I’m too tired.

So the Blue Wave was more like a middle-aged man’s enlarged prostate dribble but the Democrats still succeeded in winning the House. The Republicans gained ground in the Senate.

What have we learned?

• The press is the enemy who are actively trying to sow division and start our next civil war.  (Hey, it’s good for ratings)
• Alexandria  Ocasio-Cortez (aka “Loopy Occasional Cortex”) is the future of the Democratic-Socialist party of America. I just thank god she’s too young to run for President in 2020. Then again, since when have the Democrats let what’s in the Constitution stop them?
• The mainstream Republican Party (aka “RINOS“) are as dangerous and useless as trying to take a crap in the woods and only having poison oak to wipe your ass. Sure, I suppose you could use it but in the long run…..)
• Nancy Pelosi will be Speaker of the House
• Donald Trump will be impeached. (“Orange Man Bad!”)
• The Walking Dead sucks. I mean it really sucks. How did this show ever become a hit?
• Cold pizza is an excellent breakfast
• Cold pizza for breakfast smothered in sriracha sauce is even better
• Cold pizza smothered in sriracha sauce will not upset your stomach. You can trust me on that!
• My hotel room had the Bible and The Book of Mormon. But no Koran. I guess they didn’t want to encourage suicide bombers.

Absolutely no Koran

• Dick York was better than Dick Sargent
• Sauerkraut may cause weird poop and copious gas

And so readers I hope you enjoyed your midterms (aka “The election no one should give a shit about“). I shall leave you with a photo of the control room at CBS where our masters called the election for their masters.

Arr! There be masters in the room!

See you tomorrow. Same Manhattan Infidel time. Same Manhattan Infidel channel.

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