Man With Penis Named Woman of the Year

This man is a brave woman!

This man is a brave woman!

Glamour Magazine has named former Olympian who formerly went by the name “Bruce” Jenner but now prefers to be called “Caitlyn” as its woman of the year.

“While this choice may be controversial in the eyes of conservatives, Caitlyn represents everything we want a modern woman to be” said Glamour’s editor Cynthia Leive (pictured here).

The editor of Glamour magazine

The editor of Glamour magazine

Being a woman is hard enough on woman but it’s even harder on men. Everyday women have to endure the indignities heaped upon us by the penis people. Caitlyn has shown true bravery by rejecting the patriarchy, getting hormone treatment to grow breasts and wearing designer clothing. I salute Caitlyn.  I salute her courage. She is a role model for all women. Her penis gives all women hope that we can overcome.

Jenner beat out actress Reese Witherspoon whom sources report has a vagina.

Reese in many ways would have been a good choice as Woman of the Year. But she is just a woman.  As such we felt we had to look elsewhere. Caitlyn is that man. When I see pictures of Caitlyn, with her broad shoulders and lack of hips, when I hear Caitlyn speak with his deep, manly voice I say “That is what a woman should be. That is what we should ascribe to.”

Leive states that not only was the choice of Caitlyn unanimous among the women in her social circle but the men who work at Glamour also agreed.

We have many of the penis people who work at my magazine. I asked every one of them what they look for in a woman. And do you know what they said? Every last one of them told me that their ideal woman should have a penis. “She must have a penis” or “I love a woman with extra” were some of the frequent comments I heard. 

Leive has also said that the choice of Caitlyn opens the doors for future Woman of the Year choices.

All the woman we have chosen have been successful, accomplished women. But they have all been biological woman. This infirmity of theirs, while not in of itself a predictor of future failure, certainly doesn’t help. Caitlyn understands the ways of the patriarchy and knows how to succeed in a male-dominated world. Who knows what can happen. Perhaps next year our Woman of the Year will be a man who hasn’t yet fully transitioned like Caitlyn. A man like Barack Obama.

When informed of the award Caitlyn took time out from buying over the counter Viagra to thank Glamour Magazine.

For the first time since I came out I feel truly like a woman. Glamour has vindicated my choice and made me feel better about myself. On behalf of all woman I thank Glamour for this award.

As to why he was buying Viagra, Caitlyn told reporters that while living as a woman she still wants to have sex with women.

“A lot of young women want to have sex with me and as 66 year old sometimes my penis doesn’t react like it did 30 years ago. I need the help that Viagra will give me.”


One Response

  1. petermc3 says:

    Caitlyn is suing The Kinks for royalties on “Lola”, their song which is obviously based on her life.

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