Manhattan Infidel Presents: The New Progressive Calendar!

FIght the tyranny of the western calendar!

Fight the tyranny of the western calendar!

As everyone who is educated agrees, the western calendar is racist. The segmentation of time into days, hours, minutes and seconds oppresses peoples of color in a way not seen since Desi Arnaz pretended to be Hispanic.

Combined with the fact that having only 12 months means we will soon run out of months to give to weak, helpless and oppressed minorities we have a crisis on our hands.  Therefore beginning immediately the following changes will be made to the so-called western calendar.

  • There will now be 300 months of 6.5 days each.

This will allow all weak, helpless and oppressed minorities to have their own history month. Hispanics alone can be subdivided into at least 24 months.  No longer will Dominicans be forced to share a month with their Puerto Rican oppressors. Yes, I realized they are both Hispanic and as such cannot be oppressors. But Puerto Ricans are American citizens.  As such they are honorary oppressors.

Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Mexicans, Guatamalans, Belizans, Salvadorans, Hondurans, Nicaraguans, Costa Ricans, Panamanians, Columbians, Venezuelans, Brazilians and the other countries of South America too small to care about all will now get their own month to help them feel better.  All except the Cubans.  As Republicans Cubans have betrayed their Hispanic heritage and joined the ranks of the oppressors.  Cubans! No month for you!

Other non-Hispanic and non-white races may apply for their own month once they demonstrate a satisfactory level of weakness.

Note:  Asians, like Cubans, are ineligible for their own month. They are good at math, get good grades at school and start their own businesses.  All signs of being infected by the white man’s lust, greed and madness.

  • Sunday, the “Day of the Lord” will be renamed “Same sex marriage day“.

By doing this we at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ hope to emphasis love.  Love is everything as the Supreme Court once said.  All organized religions (except Islam) promote hatred.  So the name “Sunday“, like the Confederate flag, Leon Trotsky and Bachman Turner Overdrive, must be consigned to the trash heap of history (except for “Taking care of Business.“) I like that song.

  • Monday will be renamed “Barack Obama” and will officially become the new beginning of the week, as befits a god of his status.
  • Tuesday will be renamed “Bernie Sanders.”  Note: As I write this I have no idea where the money will come from to rename Tuesday.  But that’s just an annoying economic fact.  We can safely ignore it.
  • Wednesday will be renamed Friday.  This befits the glory of socialism as all comrades will now only have to work three days.  Note:  TGIF will be renamed TGIW.
  • Thursday will be renamed “Gender is a Bourgeois Construct Day.”  During this day, the first day of the new four day weekend, people will be encouraged to cross dress.
  • Friday will be renamed “Pete Best.”  Why? Because under the new calendar it serves no purpose.
  • Saturday will be renamed “Kale.”  Too many people choose to eat an unhealthy brunch on this day consisting of bacon and sausages.  By renaming this day “Kale” we hope to shame our subjects into digestive subjection.

May all American comrades enjoy the glory of the new calendar.


3 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    Will Wednesday still be Prince Spaghetti day in Boston?

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>