Be a good citizen. And by that I mean a Democrat

Being a man of learning and sophistication cartoons it is my responsibility to ensure that my readers are as sophisticated drunk and naked as I am.  With that in mind I give you a social studies test.  Because without social studies we’d have to play dodge ball.

A person driving a car needs to be responsible.  Which of the following best describes a driver’s responsibilities?

• The driver needs to know the rules of driving
• The driver needs to know how the car works
• The driver needs to feel shame for using fossil fuels
• Why isn’t the driver using high speed rail? Oh wait that’s right.  The high speed rail project was blocked by Republicans.

The way of living of eastern woodlands native Americans depended on the resources in the area.  This can be seen in their shelters, which are called longhouses.  This type of shelter was common because

• The materials of wood and bark are natural and eco-friendly
• Other shelters cost too much to build
• The native Americans were horrified by the white man’s concept of the nuclear family and so preferred to house different families together
• I mean seriously.  It takes a village

The grain reaper changed farming in the 1830s.  Farmers planted larger fields because they could be planted by machine. The inventor of this machine was

• Eli Whitney
• Cyrus McCormick
• Who cares. This machine led to the downfall of the small, independent farmer
• Buy local! Corporations who sell food are evil

The main job of a governor of a state is

• Enforce the laws
• Make the laws
• Gun confiscation
• Driving out companies that manufacture ammunition

Federalism is the division of powers among the different levels of government. Which of the following is a power only the Federal government can do?

• Declare war
• Build roads
• The Federal government can do anything it wants. Haven’t you ever read the Constitution?
• Cede our sovereignty to the United Nations

Which of the following statements best describes the way of life of the native Americans of the Pacific northwest?

• They fished along the coasts, rivers and lakes
• They grew corn (native Americans call it “maize“)
• They hated international corporations
• They drank coffee and established so-called “sanctuary cities” for people from different tribes

The Wilderness Trail was built by Daniel Boone and other settlers. They wanted to travel west to Kentucky. The trail was actually

• A Native American trail used for hunting and peace conventions
• An old English trail
• Built upon the tears of massacred Native Americans
• The first step in the white man’s destruction of the Native American’s peaceful and eco-friendly way of life

A group of people want their city to add more playground equipment to a city park. Which is the most effective action they could take?

• Meeting the city council and telling them of their needs
• Children should never be allowed to play alone
• Why does this park have playground equipment anyway?
• The park should be returned to nature and if possible water diverted from the city’s water supply to ensure the survival of small fish

In 1774 leaders from all the colonies except Georgia met in in Philadelphia at the First Continental Congress. Which of the following best describes how most of the leaders felt?

• They did not want to return to Great Britain
• They wanted to ask France for help
• Does it matter?  Being white slave owners their motives are suspect
• They did not want to pay their taxes. Taxes that built roads and funded the social safety net. What do you expect from selfish one percenters?

Why were Crispus Attucks and Nathan Hale well-known people at the time of the American revolution?

• They both led armies into battle
• They both died for the cause of independence
• Both were straight, frequently raped women and practiced penis in vagina sex
• Like Donald Trump they were racists who hated Mexicans

Take this test readers and send your results to the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™. Those who pass are smart and progressive. Those who fail are backward, hetero-normative and disgust me.

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