Manhattan Infidel Presents a Job Listing

Can you destroy evidence?

Can you destroy evidence?

Here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel I often find myself wondering about my readers.  Are they happy?  Are they employed? Do they have naked photos they might want to share?

Okay so I lied about the first one and as for the naked photos I am currently prohibited from looking at any naked photos sent to me (the terms of my parole are very strict).  But jobs?  I think I can help with that.  I want all of my readers employed so they can pay their utility bill and continue to browse the internet.

And so, without further adieu I now give you a job listing from the Internal Revenue Service. Those of my readers with backgrounds in I.T. might be interested.  On the downside you’ll have to move to Washington.

Hard Drive Backup Technician for the Internal Revenue Service

About the job:

The Internal Revenue Service (“IRS”) is a international organization with offices in Washington D.C., the 50 states and around the globe.  We specialize in high tech, cutting edge information technology solutions. We are seeking a candidate who’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. 

Position Description

  • Provide level 1 help desk support, including diagnosis. Is the hard drive usable?  Can the data be restored?  If so then candidate will provide full backup of hard drive.
  • Has the the user whose hard drive malfunctioned been subpoenaed by Congress?  If so user must be able to “scratch” hard drive until it is impossible to restore data.
  • Ensure that proper encryption and security protocols have been maintained.  As a government agency we are bound by law to maintain backups of all data.
  • Unless of course said user has been subpoenaed by Congress.

Requirements

  • Experience backing up data
  • If user has been subpoenaed, experience in the following fields may be necessary:
  1. Experience in removing hard drive and throwing it against a wall.
  2. If that doesn’t damage the drive beyond repair, experience will be necessary in smashing hard drive with a hammer
  3. Experience taking damaged hard drives and placing them in the back of your car, driving to a river (preferably a deep one) and throwing hard drives in river.
  4. If there a no deep rivers nearby, candidate will be required to drive across the Mexican border and dump hard drives in deserted areas.
  5. If car is stopped by Mexican police candidate may be required to insert drives in anus and/or fellate Mexican police.
  6. Once hard drives have been placed safely in Mexico candidate will be required to pick up undocumented migrants and bring them across the border back into into the United States.
  • It is absolutely necessary that candidate have a team member mentality.

Are you the right fit?

Our ideal candidate will be the type of person that wants to get up for work everyday to keep the United States safe from her domestic enemies such as tea baggers, constitutionalists and other non-big government figures.

A car is necessary for moving hardware between the United States and remote locations in Mexico. Candidate must have a valid passport.

We want motivated people who want to succeed.  And punish the enemies of our government.

 

Well there you have it readers.  This looks like a good opportunity for anyone looking for exciting full-time employment!

(704)

4 Responses

  1. There’s an even better job opening than hat. The position of World leader has been vacant since January 2009. The job pays really well and the perks are out of this world.

  2. Bob Agard says:

    Thanks once more for providing your subscribers with valuable information. I excerpted here: http://bobagard.blogspot.com/2014/08/exciting-job-opportunity.html

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