Spam I am.

I love having a blog as I am allowed to express myself in ways that don’t involve a trench coat, a dark alley and several unsuspecting non-English speaking tourists who are afraid to go to the police.

But like everyone I have to deal with the nuisance of electronic spam.  Normally I delete the offenders but on this occasion I have decided to share some of the choicest spam excerpts with you, my loyal readers.

 Business form writes:

Hey there and thank you for your info – I have definitely picked up something new from right here.

I get that from a lot of my readers.  If you picked something up I would definitely seek medical attention.  Get some penicillin shots.  Take care of that embarrassing discharge!

Cheap Authentic Jerseys from China writes:

Girls haven’t any will.

I hear you China man.  And that’s why I like to hang around bars at closing time and use my signature pick up line:  “Hi. No doubt you’ve seen my junk on the internet.  Would you like to see it in person?”  Feel free to use that line yourself.  And happy hunting!

How to Train a House Dog writes:

I don’t know if it’s just me or if anyone else is experiencing issues on this site.  It appears like some of your text in your posts are running off the screen.  Can someone please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them as well?  This could be an issue with my internet browser.

How to Train a House Dog let me first say thank you for visiting my blog.  And secondly go f*ck yourself.  Upgrade your damn PC.  You want feedback?  How about this:  Your wife was fantastic.

Acne Scars writes:

You made some really good points here.  Most people will go along with your views on this site.

You know what happens to people who don’t go along with my views?  A visit to the crawlspace baby.  Capish?

Cheap Jordans writes:

A fan in Chicago has announced defection.

Cubs fan, eh?  Hey, any team can have a bad 106 years.

Web-hosting-report.com writes:

I dislocated my shoulder sunbathing.

“Sunbathing”?  Is that the euphemism kids are using now.  You know when I was younger we called it “choking the chicken” or “Going to the palm prom.”

Appameholcals writes:

Residents of Puerto Rico are eligible for Social Security benefits.

And that is precisely why I have ordered the island bombed.

Main Sales Cheaps writes:

My photoshop skills are not so good, she said with a laugh.

When I want to know about your goddamn photoshop skills I’ll goddamn ask about your goddamn photoshop skills.  Now suck it, Manhattan Infidel said with a laugh.

Keypebublep writes:

Only include your nose area and oral cavity.

Hey, I paid for this motel room for the ENTIRE hour.  I want full service!

Black Gamma Blue writes:

These are personnel decisions, not personal decisions.

Tell Michael is was only business.  I always like him ~ Tessio

Penis Enlargement writes:

Any tips?

No, I’m circumcised but you’re welcome to check my crawlspace.

Spokanecars.org writes:

Through the by, being moisturizing the skin from within and ensure you remain correctly hydrated through the day.

I always use moisturizer before I go to the palm prom.  Chaffing reduces the pleasure.

iHerb Free Shipping Code writes:

This weekend is pleasant in favor of me, for the reason that this point in time I am reading this wonderful blog at my house.

Quit trying to blow smoke up my ass and ship my pot!  And put some pants on when you write me.

Arrowargott writes:

Chicks know what gets men going……loudly as well as the dog.

Um. Please don’t write me. The FBI has already busted down my door down twice this month.

NFL Jerseys Free Shipping Paypal writes:

Premature disaster!

Yeah, I’ve had embarrassing incidents like that myself.  Just remember that sex between a man and woman (or two or three women) is natural and beautiful and you have nothing to be ashamed of.  But tip her pimp afterwards so you don’t get beaten up.

And finally, Ruddipisure writes:

Fraud social gathering or sex agents.

I love Craigslist too!

There you have it readers.  A sampling of just some of the Spam that I receive.  So keep writing!  (Except for you Arrowargott.  You kind of freak me out.)

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