Having taken a couple days off to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday I once again take to the the pages of my blog.  Today I am interviewing perhaps the most famous composer of his day, Sir Paul McCartney.

MI:  Sir Paul it’s a pleasure to be able to interview you.

SPM:  Thank you, Mr. Infidel.  Peace and love. 

MI:  Peace and love back at you.  And I had plenty of peace and love this weekend as I, like millions of Americans, celebrated Thanksgiving.

SPM:  Yes.  You’re American holiday.  Did you eat turkey?

MI:  Of course I did.  I love eating turkey on Thanksgiving.

SPM:  I’m disappointed in you Manhattan Infidel. As you may know I addressed Americans last week asking them to forgo their barbarous turkey-eating ways.

MI:  Okay, now that you’ve brought the subject up.  Do you think you have the right to stick your nose into our customs and traditions?

SPM:  Of course I do.  I’m a citizen of the world.

MI:  What does your passport say?

SPM:  Great Britain

MI:  And?

SPM:  Isn’t Great Britain part of the United States?

MI:  No. No it isn’t.

SPM:  Dude.  

MI:   Moving along – 

SPM: Turkey is cruelty.  I want Americans to have a cruelty-free holiday.

MI:  Cruelty-free? And this is from the man who wrote “Wonderful Christmastime.”

SPM:  [Pause] Touché.

MI:  Simply having a wonderful Christmastime…..Simply having a wonderful Christmastime!

SPM:  Please don’t.  Even I hate the song.

MI:  Okay.  I’ll stop.  I wouldn’t want to be accused of cruelty.  

SPM:  Thank you.

MI:  Let’s change the subject.  Take us back to the early morning of December 9th, 1980.

SPM:  That was a long time ago.  What happened that day?

MI: You received a phone call early that morning stating that  John had been shot dead and – 

SPM:  John’s dead?

MI:  Um. Yeah.  I’m sorry I thought you knew.

SPM:  Dude man.  Dude!  I’m gonna need to smoke some pot now.

MI:  Okay.  Um.

SPM:  Do you have any pot for me?

MI:  Moving along – 

SPM:  Have-o any-o pot-o for-o me-o?

MI:  No.  Let’s talk about Ringo. Are the two of you still close?

SPM:  Ringo?

MI:  Yes.  The drummer for the Beatles.

SPM:  I was in the Beatles?  Dude!  Nice.

MI:  I’m going to have to end the interview now.  

SPM:  Got-o  pot-o?

MI:  I already told you no.

SPM:  Pot is a plant.  And killing and consuming plants is not cruel. You Manhattan Infidel are cruel.

MI:  Alright pal you asked for it.  You want cruel?  Here’s cruel for you: 

The moon is right
The spirits up
We’re here tonight
And that’s enough

Simply having a wonderful christmastime
Simply having a wonderful christmastime

The party’s on
The feelin’s here
That only comes
This time of year

Simply having a wonderful christmastime
Simply having a wonderful christmastime

The choir of children sing their song
Ding dong, ding dong
Ding dong, ding Ohhhh
Ohhhhhhh

SPM:  No.  No. I beg you  please stop! [Sir Paul runs out of the building into oncoming traffic.]

MI:  I have just been handed this news bulletin.  Paul McCartney has been run over by a manure truck.  More details as they come in.

And so ended my interview with the so-called “cute” Beatle.  Now if you’ll excuse me I have to scrub “Having a Wonderful Christmastime” from my iPod.

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