With four days left until election day, Vice President Biden has ramped up the campaign rhetoric.  At a campaign stop in Sarasota Florida he promised to “give the whole load.’

Since the moment Biden promised to “as they say in my business give the whole load” the phones at the international headquarters of Manhattan Infidel have been ringing off the hook.

This is quite unusual as Manhattan Infidel has not payed his phone bill in months and has had his service disconnected.

Concerned citizens from all across the land have been asking me the following questions:

• What is Biden’s “business”?
• What exactly is a “whole load”?
• How does a whole load differ from a partial load?
• Is the whole load safe for children?

What is Biden’s business?

I have researched this question thoroughly.  Digging deep into Biden’s past I have discovered that in the late 1960s he was a ground-breaking soft porn performer operating under the name “Ricky Hair Plugs.”  His popular “Hair Plugs” series, which included such classics as “Hair Plugs and Hot Wax”, “Hair Plugs and Whip Cream” and “Hair Plugs and Lady with a Whip” won several awards at the nascent Soft Porn Film Awards held in Las Vegas.

At the peak of his popularity Biden retired from soft porn and entered politics.  As he said at the time, “I’m giving my load in the movies and now it’s time to give my load to all of America.  Not just the porn fans.”

What exactly is a whole load?

According to Webster’s dictionary a whole load is defined as “A load clearly visible from three feet away and instantly recognizable as a load and not shampoo.”  

By meeting these two internationally recognized standards a whole load does not have to be defined by size or quantity though in certain areas of the San Fernando Valley it is unofficially considered helpful when ascertaining when a load is in fact a whole load.

How does a whole load differ from a partial load?

There is no clear cut agreement on this. But several scientists have postulated that partial loads do not in fact exist and that what is commonly referred to as a partial load is merely the absence of perfection that is resident in a whole load.

Others theorize that partial loads are the result of dampness or the presence of a strong south wind during generation of the possibly soon to be existent full load.

Still a third and controversial group of scientists believe partial loads are the work of midgets.

Is the whole load safe for children?

This is a hotly debated topic.

The latest studies seem to show that while a whole load in and of itself is not physically dangerous for children there is anecdotal evidence that a whole load may lead to emotional problems for children later in life.

“I took my children to a Biden campaign rally and he gave us the whole load.  Now my children cry all the time” is the statement of one mother.

Until further research is done on this it is advised to err on the safe side and not subject children to a full load. Unless of course you directed Chinatown.

And lastly for those of my readers interested in more information on full loads, I direct you to the horse’s mouth himself:

The Whole Load

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