Over the past four years I have watched our country torn apart by those bitter clingers who refuse to acknowledge the justice of redistribution of wealth.  I have watched as the bitter clingers have harassed the brilliant constitutional mind of Barack Obama.  Obama, perhaps the smartest man in the world and definitely the smartest man ever to become President.  I have watched our dear leader who rules us with firmness, equity and redistributive justice slandered by the bitter clingers.

It is time to help him!  President Obama needs our prayers.  We must reelect this man!  Do we want Europe to laugh at us?  Do we want the Muslim world to laugh at us?  Do we want Massachusetts, California and Oregon to laugh at us?  I ask everyone in the fly-over states to put aside their natural sluggishness of intellect and vote for our President.  Accordingly, by the powers invested in my as a F.O.O (Friend of Obama) I have composed the following pro-Obama prayers. I ask all to recite them day and night until the mind of Obama is safely ensconced in a second term.

The Obama Prayer

Our Obama, who art in Washington D.C., by way of Chicago, by way of Hawaii by way of Indonesia, by way of Kenya

Hallowed be thy socialist name

Thy socialist kingdom come

Thy socialist will be done

In America as it is in much smarter Europe

Give us this day our daily redistributed bread

And forgive us our doubts as to the compassion of socialism

As we punish our enemies and the other

And lead us not into capitalism

But deliver us from self-reliance

Prayer to the Guardian Obama

Obama of the omnipotent nation-state, my guardian dear

To whom His love commits me here

Ever this day be at my side, giving me government handouts

To light and guard against free markets, to rule and guide my thoughts words and speech.  Amen

My Morning Offering to the Constitutional Scholar

Oh Obama, through the most pure heart of Bill Ayers, I offer you all my income, works, joys and sufferings from stupid conservatives of this day, for all the intentions of Your Sacred Socialist Heart, in union with all the socialists of Europe, in reparation for the racism of capitalism and in particular for the intentions of the holy father Ted Kennedy.  Amen.

An Act of Adoration to Obama,

O great Obama, the sovereign lord of the United States, greater than even our Constitution, which after all was created by white slave holders, I prostrate myself before thee.  With all the redistributionists I adore Thee, I acknowledge Thee to be my one true love, my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I render to Thee the homage of my being, life and income.  I submit myself to Thy holy socialist will, and I devote myself to the Thy divine and very smart service this day and forever.

Blessing Before Meals

Bless us, O Obama, and these thy gifts, which  we are about to receive from thy federal government’s bounty. Through Michelle Obama our protector of diets.  Amen.

Grace After Meals

We give Thee thanks, almighty Obama, for all thy benefits; Who livest and reignest, forever and ever, once we get the Constitution modified to make you President for life.  Amen.

And there you have it readers.  A few prayers to our Lord of Redistribution that we should all say every morning and evening.

For we shall love the Lord Obama with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind and we shall love Federal employees as ourselves.

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