Constitutional Scholar Threatened by Latinos with Forks and Knives

 Watch out!  It’s a Latino with a knife!

In a tense stand-off that nearly resulted in tragedy, President Obama while speaking at a NALEO (National Association of Latino Elected Leaders) luncheon had the secret service confiscate all forks and knives before the President would speak to the association.

“This is standard operating procedure” said a Secret Service agent at the luncheon.  “We have to protect the President.  Besides, cut him some slack.  If you were a black man would you want to be surrounded by a bunch of Latinos with knives?”

According to another agent present at the luncheon:

Normally we’d just stop and frisk but that would be racist so we decided to profile the bunch.  Not that any of us has ever seen a Latino before.  Well, except for Natalie Wood and George Chakiris from West Side Story.  In fact we were confused and didn’t believe they were Latinos at first. None of them were snapping their fingers and dancing Real Latinos! while singing “When you’re a Jet you’re a Jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day.”  But when they started asking for knives and forks we knew they were Latino and took appropriate action.

Per Secret Service regulation, whenever the President is attending a “uni-ethnic” luncheon, no matter the ethnic race precautions are taken.

We don’t worry that much about multi-ethnic events.  We figure they’ll start attacking each other before the President arrives.  But these uni-ethnic events are troublesome.  They might view Obama as “the other” and decide to take him out according to their own ethnic tradition.

The agent cites as examples the following:

  • When addressing a group of German-American business owners the Secret Service barred all “short Austrians with mustaches” from attending the event.
  • During an address to an Italian-American organization the Secret Service took extra precautions including checking the overhead tanks in the bathroom for hidden pistols and ensuring that horse head was not on the menu.

The President isn’t even allowed to address Irish-American events anymore.

Don’t get us started on the Irish.  Once the beer bottles start flying everyone is in danger.  The last one of those I went to some Irishman hugged me and called me his brother.  When I told him I didn’t like to be hugged he said  “Póg mo thóin” and gave me the finger.  I don’t know what Póg mo thóin means but I’m sure it’s bad.

According to those close the President, Obama is perplexed by the uproar over banning forks and knives.

“I’m letting the damn Hispanics stay in the country.  What more do they want from a brother?”

President Obama’s press secretary Jay Carney maintains that despite the knife and fork episode President Obama is a friend to Latinos.

President Obama wants to move forward in partnership with Latinos and hopes that his message of tolerance, inclusiveness and punishing your enemies resonates with Hispanics.

There has been no comment from the NALEO leadership.



4 Responses

  1. My Country, My Home says:

    Obama’s anti-American regime is trying to win the Hispanic vote, but he must think that everyone is as stupid as the progressive voters. .
    For a Hispanic Young Adult to prove that their parents brought them here, they must turn in their parents… We do not have a President. We have a dictator-in-chief .
    Typical Stupid Progressive Thinking.

    Jan Brewer needs to order her law enforcement officers to escort the illegals to the border themselves and throw them all out of this country. . And our Republican politicians need to grow a pair ad stand up to this wannabe Dictator. . Not even the liberals in Congress should be willing to put up with this. Impeachment. What next, a declaration of war against Arizona? Until Obama is evicted and this administration is thrown out no state is safe

  2. Frijoles refrito con picante que si`pica is just as dangerous as any knife and fork.

  3. Jim, I was told there would be no Swahili in this blog comment section.


  4. His main focus is punishing his enemies.

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