A couple months ago I wrote about liberal icon Alec Baldwin and how he was annoyed by working class stiffs on board an airplane. Well now this liberal icon has been annoyed again by a working class stiff (this time a photographer.) Naturally I wanted to get to the bottom of this story so I asked Mr. Baldwin if I could interview him and he was gracious enough to consent.
MI: Good afternoon Mr. Baldwin. May I call you Alec?
AB: What?
MI: Um, I was wondering if –
AB: I made an ass out of myself arranging this interview. You have insulted me for the last time.
MI: I haven’t –
AB: You don’t have the brains or the decency of a human being! You’re a pig. You know what it takes to interview me? It takes brass balls you pig.
MI: Well that’s good to know.
AB: Take off your shoes.
MI: What? Why?
AB: You are on sacred Alec Baldwin ground.
I am Alec Baldwin. You shall have no other Baldwin but me.
MI: I thought your brother Stephen was the religious one.
AB: Do not mention his name around me.
He is a false Baldwin. I am the true Baldwin.
MI: I see. Mr. Baldwin, if I may – why the anger?
AB: It is righteous anger. It is a fearsome thing to fall into the hands of the living Baldwin.
MI: Okay. But after you attacked the photographer you walked around with a sheet over your head. Why?
AB: I am the holy Baldwin. The holy spirit of Baldwin.
The finger of Baldwin. The sheet represents that.
MI: I don’t understand.
AB: I wouldn’t expect a rube like you to. You weary me. How long must I put up with you though you have seen my works?
MI: You have quite the messianic complex don’t you?
AB: Who knows the mind of Baldwin except the spirit of Baldwin.
MI: Okay. One last question. Your ex-wife Kim Basinger –
AB: Silence you pig. You dare mention her around me?
The fear of Alec Baldwin is the beginning of wisdom. You’re obviously a moron!
MI: Okay I’ve been nothing but nice to you and have been very mean to me.
AB: I bet you’re one of those racists who work for Fox news.
MI: If you’re not going to be nicer to me maybe I will go interview your brother Stephen.
AB: Your putrid threat disgusts me.
MI: I’m leaving now. Any last words?
AB: You mean like words with friends? I love that game.
And so I left Mr. Baldwin, being careful of course not to turn my back on him.
(641)
Who the f–k is Alex Balwhine? Should I know hin? Is he somebody import like Elmer Fudd? Did you notice that when he opens his mouth he swallows his face? What a dweeb!
Just remember–Alec Baldwin is the star of a BIG TV SHOW!
It’s so big it gets consistently clobbered in the ratings by its competition!
http://bit.ly/zjmsoN
Jim: Alec Baldwhine is a master thespian, noted environmentalist and compassionate redistributionist socialist. And he was once married to Kim Basinger.
Shamus: Lies promulgated by racist conservatives!
Yeah, I’d back away slowly from that crazy fellow too. You never know when these hollywood types will snap.
Hey there! I’ve been following your blog for a while now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Kingwood Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the great job!