My Exclusive Interview with Levi Johnston

Do I make you horny?Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing Levi Johnston, the father of Sarah Palin’s grandson. Levi came to the attention of the world at the 2008 Republican convention.  Since then his life has taken many unique turns.

MI:  Mr. Johnston I want to start out by asking you – 

LJ:  Please.  Call me Ricky.  Ricky Hollywood.

MI:  Um.  Okay.  [Pause.] Ricky.  Anyway – 

LJ:  I was on the Tyra Banks show.

MI:  So I hear.

LJ:  She was very nice to me. She likes me!  She really really likes me! She asked me questions about my life.  It’s like we were best buds.  She really cares for me.  And afterwards I got to eat free food in the green room.  The green room – that’s what us show biz professionals call it.

MI:  You’re a show biz professional?

LJ:  Yes.  I went to this party.  It was a GQ party.  I got to wear pancake makeup because you know I’m a show biz professional and they all wear pancake makeup.  I got to drink free cokes!

MI:  Did you get to talk to anyone?

LJ:  Funny thing.  Nobody talked to me but I think it was because they were in awe of my Ricky Hollywood persona. I’m going to be the next big thing in Hollywood you know.  The CBS morning show said I would be.

MI:  Now – 

LJ:  I liked the people at at the CBS morning show.  They asked me all sorts of questions about the Palins.  And I got to eat free food in the green room.  Though their green room wasn’t green like Tyra’s.  I don’t know why they would call it a green room when it wasn’t green.  I guess show biz people are funny that way.

MI:  What did they ask you about Sarah Palin?

LJ:  Well they wanted to know if I had ever witnessed her murder anybody and if she was a practicing witch.  I didn’t know the answers to those questions so I told them what I think they wanted to hear.  They were quite happy with me.  They like me.  It’s like we are best buds.

MI:  So what are you doing now?

LJ:  I’m living at home with my mom.

MI:  Really?

LJ:  This isn’t unusual for show biz professionals such as myself.  I’m just biding my time until Tyra or CBS calls to ask me more questions about the Palins.  Do you have any questions about Sarah Palin you’d like to ask me?

MI:  No.

LJ:  I once witnessed Sarah Palin round up 100 babies and burn them to death in a giant bonfire.

MI:  I seriously doubt that.

LJ:  Where’s your green room?   Do you have any free soda for me?

MI:  No I don’t.

LJ:  Obviously you are not a show biz professional like I am.  Ricky Hollywood is my name.  Show biz is my game.  Did you know I also dance?

MI:  I did not know that.  And frankly I really don’t care.

LJ:  Look at me.  I’m dancing.  I’m lifting my shirt up.  I’m lifting my shirt up.

MI:  Please stop.

LJ:  Look at my nipples.  Look at my nipples! Look at my nipples! These are the nipples Sarah Palin wanted to play with after she burned those babies to death.

MI:  Okay I’ve had enough.  I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.

LJ:  But I haven’t had a free soda yet.

MI:  Get out!

LJ:  This is no way to treat a show biz professional!  You’ll never work in this town again.  I will buy you and destroy you!  As soon as I get my next gig.  Gig:  That’s what we show biz professionals call a job.

MI:  Don’t let the door hit you on your ass on the way out.

And so ended my interview with Levi Johnston.  And just for the record I do have a green room.  Not that it’ll do him any good.


3 Responses

  1. Hey! Why don’t you send that twit to me. I’ll show him a Venezuelan green room. You will never hear from him again.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    JCF: I like how you think. Regardless of one’s politics no one likes backstabbing little creeps, which is what Levi is. And he’s learning a hard lesson now: Allies are not friends. The press was his ally because they needed dirt (even made up dirt at that) on Palin. But now that her star has fallen (she will never hold elective office again) the MSM’s need for Johnston is over.

  3. In reality that’s probably what the media want from him or anyone else, some one to dish up dirt on the Palins.whether it’s true or not is irrelevant to them.

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