In the light of Newt Gingrich’s racist victory in the racist state of South Carolina, a victory brought about in large part through the use of racist code words, we here at the World Wide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel would like to provide our readers with a guide to said racist code words

• “Work” will now be considered a racist code word.  If you use the word “work” in conversation you are a racist who hates people of color.   For example:  If you say, “It’s been a long day at work” we know what you are really saying is “If only I had more time to lynch black folk.”  Face it.  You are racist.  How long have you been voting Republican?
• “Hello” is a racist code word.  Here is a typical example:  If you say, “Hello. Nice to meet you”  what you are really saying is “Hello.  Where is the Klan meeting?” Face it whitey.  You are a despicable example of institutional white racism.  You are probably a Republican.
• “Constitution” is now a racist code word.  By even bringing up the constitution of the United States in conversation you are proving what a racist you are.  If you believe that the constitution gave us a limited government you are racist.  You are using your so-called belief in this so-called “constitution” as cover for your deep-seated hatred of all peoples of color.
• “Cheese” is a racist code word. If you say “I have too much cheese in my diet.  No wonder I’m constipated” what you are really saying is, “I want to bring back slavery.“
• “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” is a racist code word.  Why?  Don’t argue with me I’m a liberal.  You’re probably just too stupid to understand the connection you racist Republican.
• The letter “N” is racist a racist code word.  Well, letter anyway.  So now instead of simply finding the “N” word offensive, any word with any letter “N” in it is evidence of deep seated racism. If you use any words with the letter “N” in it you are racist.  Until the World Conference against Racism (WCAR) can come up with a replacement for the letter “N” I suggest that instead of using that letter, one should put one’s hands on one’s hips and say, “I’m a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle. Here is my spout.” By doing this everyone will know you are not racist.
• “Zeppo Marx” is a racist code phrase.  If anyone dares mention Zeppo Marx, in speech or in writing,  let him be anathema.

And there you have it.  Just avoid using these racist code words and all will be okay. There are more racist code words of course that I haven’t mentioned here because of time constraints.  I’m off to a “Just say no to Zeppo Marx” conference.

I enjoy saying no to Zeppo Marx.  It makes me feel good about myself.

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