New Hampshire! Respectable White Folk!

White people!  I see white people!Good evening.  I’m Chris Matthews.  Tonight we had  our first primary in the state of New Hampshire.  Why New Hampshire? Why does this state get the first primary?  Simply put Republicans hate Negroes.  Do I have proof of this?  I’m Chris Matthews and I work for MSNBC.  I am joined by MSNBC chief political correspondent Chuck Todd.  Good evening Chuck.

Chuck Todd:  Good evening Chris.

Chris Matthews:  Chuck do you have any thoughts on Mitt Romney’s win tonight?

Chuck Todd:  Well obviously while New Hampshire is predominantly white the state does have a higher class of white people than lowly Iowa. I was heartened by Rick Santorum’s low finish.

Chris Matthews:  Thank you Chuck.  You know I almost forgot you were a white man when I was talking to you. 

Chuck Todd:  I am taking medicine to make me black.

Chris Matthews:  Good for you.  When you make my leg tingle we’ll talk.   I’m also joined by His Holiness Pope Sharpton, leader of the people who make my leg tingle.  Pope Al Sharpton joins us from a Papa John’s pizza.  Good evening your holiness.

Pope Sharpton:   Resist –

Chris Matthews:   Do you have my pizza?

Pope Sharpton:  Resist we – 

Chris Matthews:  Cut his microphone.  Don’t come back until you have my pizza.   I’m Chris Matthews and I love black people.  I am now joined by Mike Lupica from his home in Connecticut.  Good evening Mike.  Any thoughts on Rick Santorum’s low showing?

Mike Lupica:  I’m heartened that – just a second Chris I have to talk to my maid.  [Speaking to maid] This Chateau le Blanc ’68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled.  This is room temperature!  Do you want a green card? Do you?  Hablo Ingleso do you-oh? Then start doing your job better.  Now get back in the kitchen!  [To Matthews]  Sorry about that Chris.  It is so hard to find good help nowadays.

Chris Matthews:  I know.  Pope Sharpton still hasn’t brought my pizza yet.  I notice your maid was not white.

Mike Lupica:  I live in a lily white neighborhood.  I hired her because I am pro-diversity.  As long as the diversity isn’t in my neighborhood.

Chris Matthews:  She makes my leg tingle.  Well I’m Chris Matthews.  Mitt Romney has won  the New Hampshire primary.  But more importantly where the hell is my pizza?  Now the Republicans go on to South Carolina.  Will a slave owner win in that state?  I’m Chris Matthews saying good night and if anyone has seen Pope Sharpton make sure he has my pizza.



4 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    A few years ago, Obama would have been getting us some coffee. Right, Chris?

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: You mean Barry can redistribute the coffee right?

  3. White people and race – lol. In 08 one woman we know was blabbing on and on how Barack Obama makes her forget about race.

  4. MK says:

    Pizza boy but not coffee boy, wow them liberals are really breaking boundaries.

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