Recently I had the honor to sit down with the much-respected actress Ellen Barkin.  We discussed her career and topics of current interest.  I thank Miss Barkin for taking time out of her busy schedule to meet with me.

MI:  Thank you for meeting with me.  It’s not often I get an actress of your respected stature to visit me and my humble blog.

EB:  Are you a fascist?

MI:  No.  I’m a Capricorn actually.

EB:  You look like a fascist.  A fascist like Mayor Bloomberg and his goose-steppers in the NYPD.

MI:  Um.  Let’s talk about your career.

EB:  If President Obama, God bless the dear leader, loses the 2012 election America will turn into a police state.  No sh*t.  I’m terrified.

MI:  Do you have proof of this?

EB:  I don’t need proof.  I’m a progressive.  It’s an article of our faith.

MI: Back to your career.  Your breakout role was in the film Diner.

EB:  F#ck all of you.  Bloomberg and everyone goosestepping behind you.

MI:  I – 

EB:  New York City cops are arresting dark-skinned teenagers everyday.

MI:  Well to you I think an albino would be dark-skinned.

EB:  Silence fascist!  When Obama wins reelection you will be silenced!

MI:  Okay since you don’t want to talk about your career let’s switch subjects.  You support the Occupy Wall Street movement, don’t you?

EB:  Yes!  We are the 99 percent.  End corporate personhood!  You are the violence in this city!

MI:  What is it about the Occupy movement that attracts you?

EB:  I despise capitalism.  It oppresses the people.

MI:  Okay as long as we are on the subject of capitalism, you were married to Ron Perelman.

EB:  Your point?

MI:  My point?  He’s a very rich capitalist.  He left you 40 million in the divorce  settlement.

EB:  Fascist!  Fascist!  I should have expected a fascist like you to use dirty tactics.  I’m trying to free the people and redistribute the income.

MI:  Well why don’t you redistribute some of yours?

EB:  Fascist!  When Obama wins reelection you will be silenced!

MI: You already said that.

EB:  Silence fascist.  You shall be – 

MI:  You know what.  I’m out of here. You’re about as boring as an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

EB:  Fascist!  You shall be – 

MI:  Silenced I know.  Bye.

EB:  Where are you going?  I”m not crazy!  Bagel Street?  Don’t talk to me about Bagel street.   A terrible thing happened to me on Bagel Street.  A safe fell out of a 15-story building and killed me.

MI:  Well as long as you’re dead there’s no use asking you where the Susquehanna hat company is.

EB:  Susquehanna! Susquehanna!  That’s the hat I was wearing the day I was killed!  Susquehanna!

And so my interview with the respected actress ended.  Once again I thank Miss Barkin for her time.

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