Iowa! White People! Caucuses!

White people!  I see white people!Good evening.  I’m Chris Matthews. Well tonight the race begins.  After months of watching white people and the Republican party’s token negro Herman Cain debate tonight white people in Iowa attend caucuses all across the state.  Why?  To take part in our great Republic.  But also perhaps because there are no negroes there.  I am joined by chief political correspondent Chuck Todd.  Good evening Chuck.

Chuck Todd:   Good evening.  I have a goatee.

Chris Matthews:  You are one funky white man.  I am also joined by the leader of the black race, his Holiness Pope Al Sharpton.  Good evening your holiness.

Al Sharpton:   Resist we –

Chris Matthews:  Thank you.  And finally I am joined by sportswriter and noted hater of white people, Mike Lupica.  Good evening Mike.  I’ll start with you.  What do you think of these caucuses?

Mike Lupica:  They disgust me. All I see are lily white people. Lily white. Lily lily white.  As I was saying to my Mexican maid: too many white people.  Why do you think they call it a caucus?  Caucasians!  That’s why!

Chris Matthews:  Do many negroes live in your neighborhood?

Mike Lupica:  No.  It’s a safe neighborhood.

Chris Matthews:  Thank you.  As a political reporter you are a great sports reporter.

Mike Lupica: What?  Whitey!

Chris Matthews:  Chuck Todd, any possibility Hitler will win the caucus tonight?

Chuck Todd:  I wouldn’t rule that out.  Iowa is a white stronghold  So obviously Hitler would be popular.

Chris Matthews:  Thank you Chuck. Once again I love your goatee.

Chuck Todd:  My mother says it makes me look sophisticated.

Chris Matthews:   Your Holiness Pope Sharpton, what do black people think of the Iowa caucus?

Al Sharpton:  Resist – 

Chris Matthews:  Thank you.  I am also joined on the phone by former MSNBC correspondent Keith Olbermann.  Talk to me Keith.  What do you see?

Keith Olbermann:  I don’t see much at the moment.  I’m in my bathtub right now.  Got my big toe stuck in the faucet.  It hurts.

Chris Matthews:  Well there you have it.  If you have just joined us MSNBC is declaring the Iowa caucus as too close to call.  But there is a distinct possibility that Hitler or someone from the Ku Klux Klan will win and forge ahead to the Republican nomination.  Pope Sharpton?

Al Sharpton:  Yes?

Chris Matthews:  Here’s 40 dollars.  Get us a few pizzas.  I’m Chris Matthews.  We now return you to the regularly scheduled program, “Lock up:  Tattoos and anal sex.”

Al Sharpton:  [Off camera]  Resist we much!

Chris Matthews:  I love that Pope. What a spitfire.  I’m Chris Matthews.  Goodnight.



4 Responses

  1. jaykayDX says:

    Can’t blame them. White people disgust EVERYBODY. They just woke up to what the rest of the world has known for so long. And all they (whites) do is whine, whine, whine all day long. Some even make blogs that are full of whine. Like yours, for instance!

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    My my Jaykaydx. Is your penis that small? Feel better now? Feel more like a man? You’ll notice I’ve disapproved your comment on another post where you refer to Bernanke as “THE JEW!”

    But don’t worry. I’ve blocked your I.P and your email address so you no longer have to worry about talking about “Jews” again on this site.


  3. MK says:

    I love the way they always say – it’s too close to call – when they really have no f#$%^ing clue.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    MK: I”m not sure if I like your comment. It’s too close to call 🙂

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