Astronomers Discover Wormhole; Find it Filled with Worms

My god.  It’s filled with worms!Astronomers at NASA announced today that they have found a wormhole.  This would be the first known physical verification of the long-hypothesized phenomenon.

“We were excited at first to discover the wormhole” said one scientist.  “Because frankly we’ve been bored lately.  We haven’t been doing much at NASA except helping Muslims improve their self-esteem.  So when we found this it was great.”

Their joy soon turned to disgust when they found that the wormhole was filled with nothing but worms.

“We were expecting time travel, faster than light travel.  Instead all we got were millions, billions of slimy, creepy, crawling worms. It’s giving us all nightmares.”

Still astronomers at NASA are counting their blessings.

It wasn’t as bad as the time we discovered the skanky prostitute vagina hole.  That gave us pause.  I mean none of us could look at our wives after that.  And don’t get us started about time we discovered the Rosie O’Donnell unwashed armpit on a Summer day after she’s been doing manual labor hole. That made us vomit. Or the time we discovered the View hole.  That’s an entire hole in the space time continuum that shows nothing but repeats of the View.  Now we know what hell looks like.

Given their disappointments over their recent findings many astronomers are beginning to question the validity of astronomy and physics.

“I’m afraid of what we’re going to find next.  Many of us don’t even bother to bathe anymore.  What’s the point.”

Accordingly NASA has announced that it will no longer look into space.

“NASA will now become a reality show.  We’re hoping to the Hulk Hogan, the Gotti’s and the Kardashian’s aboard.”

In a related note, Virgin Atlantic has announced that tours to the Rosie O’Donnell unwashed armpit on a summer day after she’s been doing manual labor hole will be available in the Spring of 2012.


2 Responses

  1. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: I predict NASA’s show will sweep the Golden Globes.

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