As part I of my interview with Santa ended we were discussing over-regulation and how it is killing business.  I now present part II of my interview with the most popular person among boys and girls around the globe.

Santa:  You want a piece of me?  You want me punk?  Here I am.  Come on punk.  Come at me!

MI:  You’re going down fat boy!

[Manhattan Infidel upends the table separating them.  Grabbing his handy switchblade he motions to Santa to come closer.  Santa breaks off a table leg and swings it over his head.]

MI:  Aaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! 

Santa:  I’ve been waiting for this for years you….blogger!

[Manhattan Infidel and Santa collide.  Santa  grabs Manhattan Infidel’s hand and starts hitting it repeatedly with the table leg.]

MI:  Not my hand!  Jesus not my hand!  I need that to masturbate.  I mean I need that hand to write my witty blog posts that keep up the spirit of America!

[Manhattan Infidel grabs Santa’s leg and flips him onto his back.  Manhattan Infidel plunges his knife into Santa’s foot eliciting a blood-curdling scream from St. Nick.]

Santa:  Not my foot!  Not my foot!  I need that foot to power my sleigh!

[As Santa attends to his bleeding foot Manhattan Infidel searches for a gun.]

MI:  Where the hell is your gun?  I know you have one you fat bastard!

[Santa grabs the table leg again and slams it into Manhattan Infidel’s chest.]

MI:  Not my nipples!  Not my nipples!  I need them to…..um……what are male nipples for anyway?

Santa:  I’m not really sure.  I read in a book once they were an evolutionary holdover, like the appendix.

MI:  Really?  Cool.

Santa:  Now prepare to die you blogging bastard!

MI:  What a minute.  What are we doing?  I am not the enemy.  The enemy is out there!  Out there!  Millions of bratty kids around the world demanding presents they don’t deserve.

Santa:  I guess you have a point. [Throws down his table leg.]

MI:  Let’s call a truce.

Santa:  I suppose I can agree to a truce.  Hey, I know a good strip club not far from here.  You want to go?

MI:  A gentleman’s entertainment venue?

Santa:  Don’t push it.

End of Part II.

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