Putin Loses Support In Russian Election; Manhood in Question

Welcome to the Gulag you’ve got what it takesThe recent parliamentary election in Russia has shown a stunning drop in support for Vladimir Putin’s  United Russia Party.  In contrast to past elections where the United Russia Party gained almost 75% of the vote their support is now down to under 60%.

Experts cite as possible reasons for the loss of support Russian dissatisfaction with Putin’s rule, anger over alleged corruption and the surprisingly strong showing of write in candidate Peter the Great (pictured here). Power is mine!  Power chords baby!

“We were all suprised by Peter’s showing.  First, he’s been dead for almost 300 years.  Second we all thought he was touring with Daltry at the moment.”

With the loss of support for United Russia Putin’s plans to run for President may hit a snag.

As for Putin himself he has had no public reaction to the poor showing in the parliamentary election but has promised to do more to widen his base.

What more does Russia want from me?  I’m all man.  All man.  You want me to go deep sea diving?  I’ve done that.  You want me to go hunting bare-chested?  I’ve done that.  You want me to wrestle with bears? I’ve done that.  You want me to poison opposition leaders with an umbrella?  I’ve done that.  There is no one manlier in all of Russia than me.

To back up Putin’s claims of being the manliest person in all of Russia he released this photo Hi.  I’m Vladimir Putin.  No, I am not Chuck Norris. today purporting to show him at a local school.

“He’s still got it” squealed a middle-aged woman.  Others were confused by the photo and asked when he had shaved his beard as this was the last photo I am Vladimir Putin released by the Putin camp.

Perhaps to shore up support in lieu of the bad election showing Putin has promised to personally strangle to death anyone who does not vote for him.

“I’m going to strangle them, eat them and shit them out.  Because I’m Putin dammit and my anus has passed thousands of Russians.”

To prove his point Putin challenged an elderly grandmother to an arm wrestling match. When she lost he ate her.

Putin (pictured in this undated photo) I’m President Putin!  Power is my precious! told reporters that he deserves the Presidency.

“It is my precious!”

When asked to comment Peter the Great (pictured here) Meet the new Russian President.  Same as the old Russian President. replied, “Yeah that’s typical.  Meet the new Russian President.  Same as the old Russian President.”


1 Comment

One Response

  1. innominatus says:

    So now that rich dude who owns the NJ Nets is gonna run against Putin. Hope he has a good life insurance policy. And when Putin craps him out right there on the court, I’m not sure anybody at the game will even notice that there’s another POS out there on the floor.

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