Robotic Technology Makes Great Advances

We make pillow pillow san?  You take me dancing?  Make more money?The woman in the nursing home held a baby seal in her lap.  The seal would open her eyes, blink and coo when talked to.  Only the seal was not real.  It was robotic.

A young man held his date’s hand and whispered into her ear. Only she was not real.  She was robotic.

These two examples point out the great advances in robotic technology.

“The days when a robot dog could only wag its tail and bark are long gone” said an executive with a Japanese robotics firm. “We’ve made great advances in just the last few years alone.  Today our robots are most life-like.”

But some experts warn that robotic technology has become too life like.

A prime example of why ethicists are worried is the Nancy Pelosibot 3000, currently the Speaker of the House of Representatives.

“The Pelosibot is almost too human.  If they could only make it blink its eyes no one would know she’s a robot” said one critic.  “But she is a robot.  And can a robot understand the ramifications of her actions?  Does a robot care about the morality of how it votes?”

Experts point to the recent bill passed by the House and sponsored by Pelosibot that requires all military in Afghanistan to get written permission from the Taliban consenting to be shot by U.S. troops before aggressive action can be taken.

“That’s the kind of half-assed action I would expect in a backward third-world country like Holland or Wales but not the U.S.  If Nancy Pelosi were human would she have sponsored that bill?”

Experts also warn that people who buy robots expect perfection while in fact they are buying products designed by humans with human flaws.

“I spent $6,000 to buy a Japanese sex robot” says one man.

So when I got it in the mail I was very excited.  I took it out of the box and brought it into the bedroom.  Boy was I ready for hot sex.  Instead she kept asking me when I was going to take her dancing.  She wouldn’t let me touch her until I agreed to buy her some new shoes. Then she kept nagging me and telling me that I was not going to spend the entire weekend on the couch watching football.  I couldn’t take it any longer so I hit her over the head with a shovel and buried her in the back yard next to my wife. I mean the other robot I bought.  Yeah, well I don’t care what the neighbors think they saw.  That was a robot!  You can’t dig up my back yard without a warrant!  This interview’s over.

People are now being warned against buying the latest in robotic technology.

“It’s not worth it.  Besides nothing can substitute for the love and warmth of human companionship.  Well except for beer.  And maybe a dog.”


4 Responses

  1. Mark says:

    I don’t think they pose much of a danger d d d danger of a ddddddddddd of aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Mark: I told you to buy her some shoes!

  3. Matt says:

    Damn Cylons ruin everything.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    I dunno. Some of those cylons are pretty damn hot.

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>