President Obama Makes Recess Appointments

President Obama makes recess appointments and makes it rainUsing the authority given to him under the Constitution, President Obama today visited a local elementary school playground to make a series of controversial recess appointments.

“The Republicans say I cannot do this.  But unlike me, the Republicans aren’t Constitutional scholars.  I clearly have the authority to make recess appointments and that is what I’m going to do.”

He then took his jacket off, rolled up his sleeves and called the schoolchildren over to him. 

“I am now appointing all of you circuit court judges.  I wish I didn’t have to do this but the Republicans have blocked all my nominations, making this day necessary.”

The children, mostly 3rd and 4th graders appeared confused.  Many asked what a circuit court was.  One of the children asked President Obama if being a judge will give him the power to “make girls take their clothes off.”

President Obama pulled out a cigarette,  lit it up and smoked it.

“That is an excellent question.  Being a judge gives you that power and more. And if perchance you contract a venereal disease from the girls taking their clothes off, my new comprehensive health care reform will pay for your treatment.”

A cheer went up through the playground as the new circuit court judges rounded up the girls and forced them to take their clothes off.  Many of the girls were crying.  Some wet their pants.  Those who refused were grabbed by Secret Service and arrested.

“That’s what I like to see” said the President.  “Activist judges.  Activist justice.”

A schoolteacher asked President Obama to put out his cigarette.

“Please.  It doesn’t set a good example for the children” she said.

“Children?  You mean my new Federal judges don’t you?  Judges, this woman has asked me to put out my cigarette. What is your ruling?”

“We rule against teacher” the children chanted.  “Teacher is a meanie.  Teacher is a meanie.  We rule she has to kiss the Principal.”

The Secret Service then led the offending teacher inside to comply with the terms of her sentence.  President Obama then gathered his new judges around him for a photo op before returning to the White House.

“President Obama, mmm….mmm…..mmmm.  Thank you.  This is the best recess we’ve ever had” said the children.

When reached for comment, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell shook his head sadly.

“I think the President misunderstands the meaning of recess appointments.  I just hope these children don’t do too much damage until Congress convenes again.”

In a related note, one of President Obama’s new appointees declared his Science teacher “a big doofus” and had him teach the entire class dressed as Donald Duck.



12 Responses

  1. I’m kinda of the opinion that children would do a better job than any of Obama’s commie appointees. Wait. Is there a difference?

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    A valid point Mr. Basterd. Also it is worth mentioning that the children wouldn’t cheat on their taxes.

  3. Matt says:

    They do have the socialist mentality; excessive demands with no accountability.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Yes, but if we don’t give them what they want they’ll start crying. The kids, not the Democrats I mean. I think.

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