President Obama and Vice President Biden Talk to Girl Scouts

Obama and Biden talk to Girl ScoutsA meeting at the White House today between representatives of the Girl Scouts and President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden took an unexpected turn with many of the Girl Scouts crying and asking for their parents. The Girl Scouts were assembled in the White House to honor those among them who sold the most cookies.  The ceremony started when President Obama met with the Girl Scouts for a photo op.

“You know those cookies you girls sell are killers” joked the President.  “Seriously they clog arteries and build up cholesterol.  Thank God my newly passed health insurance program will help people who eat your cookies.  Do you girls have health insurance?  Do you have a preexisting condition?  How secure is your father’s job?”

This appeared to confuse the girls.

“What’s a preexisting condition?” asked one.  Another started crying and ran to her mother.  “Mommy, is daddy going to lose his job?”

“Thank God the Democrats were able to block the Republicans.  They are the party of ‘No’ you understand” continued the President. 

He then thanked the girl scouts before leaving.  “I’d love to stay but Michelle and I are heading to New York to do a little congratulatory shopping.”

Vice President Biden then took over and put his arm around the Girl Scout who had sold the most cookies.

“How many did you sell?” he asked her.  When he was told how many Biden slapped his thigh and said “Wow.  That many?  That’s a big fucking deal!”

Vice President Biden then looked at the assembled reporters and exclaimed, “Do you know how many fucking cookies this little cocksucker sold?  We should all be proud of her fucking ‘Can Do’ spirit.  I remember when I was in the Boy Scouts I had to sell fucking candles.  Candles!  Jesus Christ can you believe it?  I didn’t sell one of those motherfuckers.  Hey who wants to hear a joke?  When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?”

The Girl Scouts looked shocked.  Many started crying while others pointed to Biden and said “He said a bad word!”

Before Biden could give the punchline to the joke the Secret Service sprang into action.

“Number Two’s gone rogue. Number Two’s gone off script” they shouted before surrounding the Vice President and hustling him away.

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs blamed Biden’s behavior on medication he is taking for a preexisting medical condition.  “A preexisting condition that might have resulted in him losing his health insurance if the Republicans had gotten their way.”

Kathy Cloninger, CEO of the Girls Scouts of America announced that in the future they will not be attending any White House events.

“I haven’t heard such language since I watched Deadwood.”


2 Responses

  1. Matt says:

    I heard they tried to let Biden use the TOTUS, but he can’t read.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Biden can read. Unfortunately it’s a made up language. Besides, POTUS will never let anyone use TOTUS. He’s very possessive.

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